Me And The Boyz

McVie with officemates and Brian Viloria

In all of the offices I’ve worked in, straight guys outnumbered gay men. Which is, I believe, a reflection of the statistical bigger picture. In my current work, however, not only am I surrounded by straight guys, but these guys are testosterone-to-the-max. They are passionate about sports, and the way they appreciate, say, tennis or bowling is “so guy,” as opposed to “so gay.” Their commentaries are often punctuated by “puta pare!” and “freakin’ awesome, man!” And they never even bother noticing the players’ outfits—unless they show off tits and ass.

It’s a good thing none of them are inordinately homophobic, so I can actually be myself in the office. And I am glad that my being there gives me a chance for them to be more comfortable interacting with gay men—that we can be trusted, and that we don’t necessarily lust after all of them 24/7 (just a couple, LOL!).

I’m not exactly angling to be the spokesperson for the gay community to the guys in the office. But if I make even just a small dent and make them realize that, really, gay guys are in the end still guys, maybe they too will change the way they treat us and will influence others as well. And maybe one day they will also treat us as just “one of the guys.”

Dude, I’m actually taller than Brian! (Did I just say “dude”?)

Adventures Of Super Nokia

I have super powers, and one of them is to connect people. Yes, call me Super Nokia now.

* * * * *

Part One

When I invited BA to the final send-off for Migs, I just had this spidey sixth sense that he was going to make a splash. Well! He did not make a splash; it was a tsunami of titillation and infatuation that spread across the small Lancaster Suite and swamped several guests in its wake.

As of last count, at least five people have expressed interest in him. But that’s only as far as I know, you see. Who knows who else is itchin’ to be hitchin’ in his wave.

Surf’s up! I hope none of them get sucked in the undertow and drown.

* * * * *

Part Two

MP is one of those guys who told me “Let’s just be friends” and other variations of that. Unfortunately his road-to-friendship with me was fraught with much drama, misunderstanding and silence between the two of us for months. But all’s well that ends, well, even better, I think. He and I share a love for the truth that cuts through tact and polite behavior.

My Super Nokia powers told me that MP and One Of The Fabcasters (now known as OOTF) would hit it off well. So I gulped down my super-bato as well as my pride, yelled, “Super Nokia!” and got to work.

To cut a long story short, they’re now in a gray area. LOL!

Recently I chatted with MP over YM:

McV: Can I tell you something lang... and this is not about sex.

MP: What?

McV: I actually told OOTF about you and me.
McV: I mean, not in full detail, but he knew what happened between us, including the tampuhan.

MP: I know.

McV: Do you know that when he was asking for your number, NAGPAALAM PA YAN SA AKIN?

MP: How?
MP: LOL

McV: He asked me, “Hey, ok lang ba sa iyo if I ask for MP’s number?” and I told him, “FUCK YOU, NO!”
McV: Choz

MP: GAGU ka talaga!

McV: I told him, “But of course! Wala na kami ni MP, noh. He just sees me as a friend, yun lang”
McV: Sabay hagulgol ako’t naglaslas ng pulso
McV: Hanggang ngayon may scar pa sa aking arm
McV: CHOZ

MP: OMG!!!
MP: LOL

McV: I told him, “Ano ka ba, ok lang”
McV: So may sisterly pagpaalam naman siya sa akin.

MP: LOLOLOLOL

Apparently my other super power is the power of self-deprecating humor with an edge.

Oh Ye Of Little Fate

This is what my Love Horoscope tells me what my week will be:

Pisces Horoscopes (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
For the Week of Jan 25th, 2010 to Feb 1st, 2010 – Being of service to others may not sound sexy but could be your key to happiness this weekend. Being generous with your time and energy is a great way to demonstrate your compassionate nature. The more you give now, the more you’ll get back later. Turning a tedious task into a creative project will keep you entertained and show you off in the best positive light.

Tonight I’ve two people to counsel. This weekend I might meet up with B again; last time we texted one another he didn’t sound so good. Coping is turning out to be more difficult than he thought.

I’m blessed and cursed. And I embrace it. =)

I'm Leaving Las Vegas

And she's the reason why.



It's her smile in the end that's the pa-kill, really.

Trailer Park

Yay! Two of the people I subscribe to are in this documentary entitled Please Subscribe: Happyslip and David Choi!

I wonder if the whole film will be available on YouTube?

Singing A Different Tune

At first he would either close his eyes or look at the far wall while singing, as if there was an audience watching him sing. Eventually he looked straight into my eyes as he sang. And I realized I was seeing and hearing B in a whole new light.

* * * * *

I first met B at a birthday party of Migs. Then at the succeeding Fabcasters’ parties, he again caught my eye. My impression of him was someone who could charm the pants off anyone. In several parties, guys would eye him and whisper to each other, “Who’s the cute one?” He even locked lips with a couple of guests—and this was all pre-Soju days.

But then he started missing a couple of parties and invites. And in the last party he went to, he looked more harassed than hot. Soon his name was inadvertently left out in the list of top-of-mind, must-invited guests.

We kept in touch through text though. And twice we had lunch and coffee because at that time our offices were just near one another. I even bumped into him at the gym once. All this time I knew he had a partner, so I kept to my best behavior.

Then we just lost touch.

* * * * *

Sunday afternoon. I met up with Migs one last time at Eastwood. Thanks to my Soju-induced state the night before, I had forgotten my cellphone charger and iPod connector at the hotel room where the final send-off for Migs was held; I was going to get them from him.

We were at the tail end of swapping stories when B spotted us. Serendipity indeed. B had moved into one of the condos at Eastwood last December; he was merely strolling at the mall aimlessly. We chatted for a while, then Migs had to leave; we saw Migs off to his condo. And then B turned to me: “Hey, wanna come check out my new place?”

I have to admit a naughty thought entered my mind and didn’t want to leave.

* * * * *

We ended up having a very late lunch of pizza, pasta and champagne. Talked about his new place, the furnishings, his plans still to be carried out. More importantly, he opened up to me the story of his ex, and how he found the courage and the strength to finally walk away from what he thought was an exclusive relationship that turned out to be a two-year-long extramarital affair—with B as the unwitting mistress.

The more we talked and the more the champagne flowed, the more B opened up. Then he stood up and said, “Do you know that I can mimic (a female singer)?” He then played a local artist’s song and sang along to it. I was floored. I swear, he got the voice and the singing style down pat! Here was someone who I met several times before, whom I thought was sooo straight acting—and here he was, giving Lani Misalucha a run for her money! Holee moley!

But by early evening things turned serious once more when we talked more about his ex. And instead of thinking naughty thoughts, I realized that here was another human being hurting, coping and struggling to be a better man. More importantly, he was beginning to learn how to take care of someone he had long taken for granted—himself.

In the end I was able to hold hands and hug him, but I had completely abandoned all thoughts of malice. By the end of the night B was singing again, but this time some faster, happier songs. And when he walked me to my car, I too was singing a different tune to myself.

Last night, “Let’s just be friends” took on a whole new meaning for me. Once more.

* * * * *

P.S. – Huy Migs, walang bistuhan ha. Hahaha.

Thoughts After Six

Great. My blog just turned six and suddenly I’m at a loss. Well no, not really. I’m writing now, right?

I just finished reading several blogs. One of them blew me away. And I realize what Stephen King said, when he explained why he placed his writing table on one corner of his room and not right smack in the middle—you live, that’s why you write; not the other way around.

No wonder I’m having a hard time thinking of what to write. I would tell myself, I’m just too busy producing the Fabcasts. Or I’m avoiding bathhouse stories. Or I should only write about funny stuff. But no. It all boils down to one thing.

I don’t have a life.

Okay, I do have a sex life but I keep most of it off my blog, unless something really interesting or hilarious happens. As for my family life, they’re in Marikina and I’m in Makati; my new family is my housemate and her two pugs. One of these days Bruce and Max will make it to the McVie Show. And as for a love life—what’s that? Choz. Yeah. I’m amazed at guys who just go for it. I’m amazed at the fearlessness and the foolhardiness in which they throw themselves at the uncertainty of Cupid’s spell. No, not amazed; I’m jealous. And scared and frustrated and puzzled and impatient and angry and sorry and trying not to be too hard on myself. I tell myself, the equation is so simple: find someone you like who likes you back the same way. It’s so simple that it’s so difficult. I already have friends and acquaintances, honey. What I need is a bad, good, so-so, whatever-I-can-get romance.

Okay, now I remember why I’m having a hard time thinking of what to write. I said, “No more emo.”

Ten-Ten-Ten-Ten!

Because my blog officially turned six years old yesterday and I forgot to mark it.

Because it is now 2010, and ten is a nice round number.

Because it’s arbitrary how I determine the length of seasons anyway.

I arbitrarily declare it season 10 of The McVie Show. (Now I’m considering that each season be one year long. Damn, I might get bored waaay before the year ends.)

* * * * *

The following below was my runner-up for the new banner, so let me show it to you guys anyway. (Sayang naman ang pagod ko.)

Variations On The Canon Of McVie

Let me down easy, no big song and dance. No long faces, no long looks, no deep conversation. — “Tell Me On A Sunday”

* * * * *

(And to think that a couple of hours earlier, I was agonizing over what to write about for a new episode of The McVie Show.)

* * * * *

For years now I’ve been hearing the words, “Let’s just be friends” from guys whom I wanted to be more-than-friends with. I remember the first few times I heard that line, it was a pretty straightforward sentence consisting of four words with a contracted “let us” at the start. After a few years I realized that “Let’s just be friends” was turning out to be the consistent line I’d hear again and again. It became some form of McRule of Attraction—tell a guy you’re interested and you get that line slapped in your face. (Well, to be fair most of them deliver it not with a slap but with a gentle pat on the cheek, like, “There, there, now.”)

As I grew older I chose more articulate guys. Thanks to them I heard variations on the canon: We’re better off as friends. I don’t understand why you’d be interested in me; you deserve someone better. I see you as a great acquaintance. As far as I feel like I can willingly be with you, that’s where I see my sentiments draw the line.

Alas my own experience of passing on such wonderful copy has been woefully limited to just two. I think I used the awfully trite, “I don’t think this is working out,” and its not-so-creative variation, “This isn’t going to work.”

Not surprisingly the two occasions I had to let someone down, I found it relatively easy for me to execute the line (my default manner is to begin diplomatically then, if the reception is favorable, end with matter-of-fact clarity). I guess my years of experience on the receiving end have converted the phrase “if I were in your shoes” into something more than just lip service; I literally owned the shoes they are wearing.

Also I did not feel guilty afterwards. Again, years of experience has taught me that by turning them down early, I spared us both from protracted awkwardness and shortened the “hoping-where-there-is-actually-no-hope” period.

While it may be so for me, I do realize that it is unfair of me to expect that others would understand, much less emulate, me. That would be hubris on my part. Instead, I must always remind myself of something that I read in someone else’s Facebook just a few minutes ago, when I was in the middle of hammering out this episode of The McVie Show: It takes true inner strength, wisdom and maturity not to be bitter, not to be rude or haughty, not to retaliate. Don't demean yourself. Be kind. Take the high road.

Oh man. The road I took is so high, I’m gasping for air.

* * * * *

Long story short, another one bites the dust.

Don’t wish, don’t start; wishing only wounds the heart…. There’s a girl I know; he loves her so. I’m not that girl. — “I’m Not That Girl” from Wicked

It’s So Nice To Be Happy (Sha-la-la-la!)

Who doesn’t want to be happy? All of us seek happiness, and so we try our best to do things, choose paths and make decisions in the hope that these things, paths and decisions will make us happy.

In his fascinating bestseller “Stumbling On Happiness,” psychology professor Daniel Gilbert points out, argument after argument and experiment after experiment, that human beings are quite incapable of assessing accurately one’s happiness in the past as well as predicting one’s future happiness.

Having a faulty memory of the past can easily be explained. The human mind is a powerful alteration-machine, capable of revising, justifying and adjusting memories to fit a person’s needs. In other words, it magnificently lies.

How our mind fools us with the future is a little trickier. Trying to predict if in the future we’ll be happy takes imagination; unfortunately, imagination always falls way off the mark when it comes to predicting happiness. We use several techniques in computing the odds of achieving happiness; however, experiments prove that the techniques we use are always faulty and reflect more the present condition rather than the future one. And often our reaction turns out to be not what we imagined it to be.

Gilbert actually suggests a way in which one can accurately guess our happiness—by using other people’s experience to predict our own happiness. However, he also states that people will never agree to this (I can imagine you disagreeing right now) because people refuse to believe that we’re like other people. We insist that we are unique individuals.

Despite the fact that our minds cannot predict our happiness, it continues to do so. In fact, Gilbert asserts that planning and predicting helps keep a mind stable.

“Stumbling On Happiness” is not a self-help book; it is merely interested in showing us the human condition as is. It is also a very easy read for a highly technical topic, and an amusing one at that. You may not end up happy after reading the book, but you certainly will know why.

The Thank You Fabcast

Beginnings: The Fabcasters’ New Year’s Party was such a blast, we just had to record a podcast about it! So here it is.

This is also the debut of the new opening billboard (aka OBB, aka “opening music”) composed and produced by Brian Cua of Hit Productions and one of the resident DJs of Bed Bar Malate. (In the opening spiel, I mistakenly omitted the “one of the” in describing Brian as a resident DJ of Bed. My sincere apologies to the other resident DJs of Bed.) FYI, Brian composed the music; yours truly added the soundbites of the Fabcasters.

Listen and laugh:

Download this fabcast (right click and save - 30.4 MB)

Music credits:

"Saturday Night" by Ned's Atomic Dustbin
"Kiss Me" by Sixpence None The Richer
"Don't Stop Believing (Brian Cua Goodnight Tribal Mix)" by the Glee! Cast

30 Questions For McVie

Formspring is this site that allows people to ask me questions, and I answer them all, McVie-style. I always loooved audience feedback, so hit me (or Jeeves) with your questions! (See form on the side.)

Meanwhile, I compiled 30 out of 41 questions that I’ve answered so far. Here they are.

* * * * *

[1] Did you ever wake up in bed one time and didn't remember the name of the person who slept with you?

Nope. I don't sleep beside guys whose names I don't know. So if I don't ask for a name, that means I have no intention of sleeping beside him; I plan to either leave or kick him out the room after sex.

[2] When was the last time you got laid?

Just a few hours ago.

[3] Have you ever paid for or have you been paid for sex?

Have I been paid for sex? Just once. I was too shocked, I just held on to the money quietly. He left before I could do or say anything. Have I paid for sex? Back when I'd hit the massage parlors. Nowadays I don't like paid sex.

[4] Has it ever happened that you met the men in your bathhouse episodes in a social or professional setting? What did you do?

So far none. I've seen other bathhouse clients in public, pero dedmahan lang naman. No knowing smiles, no long faces, no long looks, no deep conversations, I know how I want you to say goodbye. Find a circus ring with a flying trapeze, tell me on a Sunday please. (Tapusin ba ang kanta?!)

[5] In a room of 100 typical Filipino men, how many do you think are gay?

Research say 10%, so about 10 of them will be gay.

(But that most probably doesn't take into account the number of trippers, curious and the economically-challenged guys who'll have sex with gay guys just to earn a peso. How can one do research on that?)

[6] What keeps you going everyday? What gives you hope?

Jo'anna gives me hope.

Seriously, I love life. I love being alive. And I love the existing relationships I have.

[7] Does it come to a point when the love for life is not enough? If it doesn't, then I believe you. If it does, what do you do?

So far it hasn't come to a point when love of life is not enough.

So far. =)

[8] Sino si Jeeves?

He's my butler/bodyguard/driver/constant companion.

[9] bakit ganun yung mga tanong? bakit ganun yung mga sagot? –jepoy

Kasi ganun. Ayun.

[10] How good a kisser are you?

Oh, you should see the glowing reviews! Better still, come here and see for yourself.

[11] Why are there so many gays in the advertising industry?

There are so many gays in ANY industry, but a lot of them are closeted. The gays in advertising can easily be out because the industry's very accommodating (just like showbiz, as another example).

[12] Sino si Oscar Alvarez sa buhay mo? by junkyardkid

Masarap ang longganisa niya.

[13] What the... Anong lasa ng longganisa ko?

Malasa, very Vigan longganisa. They came wrapped in newspaper. We picked them up in Cubao... now do you remember?

[14] If you're power top, does that mean Oscar Alvarez is a bottom? (Peace Oscar!) Hahahaha!

I only said I tasted his longganisa. I didn't say I tasted his buns.

[15] What the... from longganisa to buns. What's next on the food trip?

Oh, there are so many parts available, I've no idea where to begin. Breast? Thigh? But I'll skip the innards, thankyouverymuch.

[16] How was the Fabcaster party? by sandwichspy

It was Fab times over!

[17] who is stephenie meyer?

Sistraks ni John. Can't carry a tune to save her life.

[18] why are there gays?

Because God said, "Let there be fabulous!"

[19] When you say you like someone, do you really do or you just like the chase?

I really do, at that time. As in, I really like what I see (so far), and I like to know him even better. (Now, whether I will like what I see or not is something I cannot predict.)

[20] Have you ever fallen in love but kept it a secret for the longest time?

Yes, with my straight best friend back in college. But nowadays I NEVER keep it a secret for a long time—I try to tell them that I'm interested as early as I can. And that's when I scare them off.

[21] is there another blogger you are fantasizing to have sex with? who?

Tiggah's the blogger, but it's his Pooh who I wanna do!

[22] Do you practice safe sex?

Always.

[23] Have you experienced being a bottom?

Yes.

[24] What was the wildest sex thingy you've ever done?

Orgy in a bathhouse when there was a power outage. It was all sweat, body parts and moaning.

[25] If given the chance, will you allow “the one who got away” back in your life?

There is no “the one who got away” cuz he was never mine to begin with.

[26] Who's your secret crush among the Fabcasters?

If I had a secret crush then I can't tell you because it will cease to be a secret; it's a self-nullifying question.

Good thing I have no secret crush.

[27] who among the bloggers have you had sex with?

I may have had sex with guys who are also bloggers, except that I didn't know they were bloggers. As for the bloggers met in Fabcasters' parties: NONE. (Let me clarify: I’ve never met someone for the first time at a Fabcasters’ party then had sex with him afterwards. But I’ve invited guys I’ve had sex before to a Fabcasters’ party.)

[28] If you are given a chance to be reborn as a straight man (or woman), would you take it?

Nope.

[29] Do you have a big dick?

Not as big as you are.

[30] how does this thing work?

You sign up, invite people to ask you questions, and you answer them as best as you can.

Duh.

The Gray Fabcast, Part 2

Sorry for the uber-delay. In this second and last part, we talk to a couple in a situationship: Jojo and Jay (the fratman!). Plus we hear the young voices from the peanut gallery.

Listen: (32 min 28 sec)

Download this fabcast (right click and save - 31MB)

Music credits:
"Forbidden Love" by Madonna
"Use Somebody" by Bat For Lashes
"Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga
"Trouble Is A Friend" by Lenka

Math Tama Na ‘To

Okay, okay, correction please: in 8 days my blog will be 6 years old. (I’ve already revised my previous entry.)

I’m a communications art graduate, sue me! (Choz.)

Three Snaps And I’m Off

Last Saturday I went through all the seasons of The McVie Show, cut-and-pasting all bathhouse episodes. You see, I’m gathering them all for, uhm, a special project. Yeah, that’s it. (Don’t worry folks. If it pushes through, you’ll hear about it.) Plowing through nearly six years’ worth (January 2004 to January 2010) of almost daily blog entries was a major production. It was also quite revealing—and a bit worrisome.

First, I actually repeated myself in some blog entries. A couple of them I deliberately repeated, but some I repeated without me realizing that I had written about them before. Jeez Louise.

And then I wrote about certain guys in my past, guys who I was interested in but for one reason or anoth—er, wait a minute! It’s always been the same reason: “Let’s just be friends”—guys who I was so into but they weren’t so into me. The worrisome part? While reading some of those past episodes, I couldn’t remember who I was referring to! Either they were that many (like, yeah riiiiiiiight) or I’ve deleted them from my mental hard drive.

Latsly, the emo posts! As in, ewww. I now cringe at all of those posts. Yes, including the most recent ones here.

So now, I *SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!* myself back together again. The Show must go on.

Acting 101

I believe it was from Gibbs that I first heard the analogy.

“Think of it,” he said, “as just going through auditions. A lot of theater actors—especially on Broadway—figure out sooner or later that auditions are really hit-or-miss things. There are just so many factors that affect one’s audition; a lot of it depends on luck. And timing. So what do they do? They go to as many auditions as possible. And if they don’t get the part, they move on to the next. They quickly realize that though they’re talented and good-looking and are more than capable for the part, they still will not be chosen.”

I remember nodding my head in agreement. Yes it’s like that; I’ve even found myself on audition couches before. What I didn’t bother to articulate anymore was this: unfortunately I’m not used to going thorough a lot of auditions. I’m not that versatile an actor; there aren’t a lot of parts out there for me, so I choose those parts for very carefully.

Plus a reality check: at my age, I cannot play ingénues, debutants and certain other characters anymore.

So when I don’t get a part, it still smarts—no matter how zen and philosophical I try to be. Though I’m still working on getting used to rejection, I’ve shortened my prerequisite emo phase. Even better, the people around me (officemates, for example) never know that I’m in a funk.

Since I cannot play a part, might as well just play Cheerful, Carefree McVie while being far from it. Hey, a role is a role. I get to flex my acting muscles while hiding the fact that I feel lost and confused.

Snap Shots

One of these days I’m going to figure it out. Or maybe not.

Perhaps the next best thing to do at times is to just let things be a blur.

*(photo credit: Leigh)

Celebration

*press PLAY*

I think you wanna come over,
Yeah, I heard it through the grapevine

For the first two years, the Fabcasters threw a Christmas party for our guests and listeners. The first year was the quite modest “Pasko Na Sinta Ketch” held at Butterfly Bar in Tomas Morato. We quietly invited only a few guests, since at that time we were still very protective of keeping Migs’ and CC’s identities a secret.

The following year, we decided to be more ambitious and held it in Astoria Suites. We also increased the number of guests. Each Fabcaster was encouraged to invite their own guests so that they can mingle, mix and match during the party.

Are you drunk or you sober?
Think about it, doesn’t matter
And if it makes you feel good then I say do it,
I don’t know what you’re waiting for

We were learning how to throw a party as we went along. And we discovered that one of the best ways to create a great party moment is to provide social lubricants—aka alcohol. First year it was mostly beer. Second year had beer but more wine. This year we had wine, an effing huge bottle of Patron Tequila, and two cases of Soju, the Korean sake.

Come join the party, yeah
Coz’ everybody just won’t do
Let’s get this started, yeah
Coz everybody wants to party with you

Properly lubricated, the guests were in a much more relaxed state. Get beautiful, mostly single (or single-for-the-night) gay guys together, throw in some music (live and recorded, Broadway, pop and dance), and mix them all with a lot of alcohol and viola!

Put your arms around me
When it gets too hot we can go outside
But for now just come here, let me whisper in your ear
An invitation to the dance of life

Flirting, kissing-in-public, and making-out sessions in and out of the venue were rampant as the night wore on. In the upstairs balcony, in the garden, by the entrance, beside Orlando, across the street—people were creating new beginnings.

(Guess who!)

Come join the party, it’s a celebration
Anybody just won’t do
Let’s get this started, no more hesitation
Coz everybody wants to party with you

At one point almost all of the Fabcasters were onstage (CC decided to keep his exposure to a minimum) and someone took a photo of that moment. As I was viewing that particular photo this afternoon, I realized that it was the best Fabcasters’ party mounted so far. Can we top it? Maybe not—but that’s okay.

What happened last night was lightning captured in a bottle—of wine, Patron or Soju. Treasure that time, appreciate the memories and embrace the impermanence of the moment.

Celebrate life!

*(“Celebration” by Madonna; photo credits by JC and Jaybeecc)

Down

I don’t get it. A guy turns me down because he thinks he’s not worthy of me. So does that mean he knows exactly what my mind needs, and feels exactly what my heart beats for?

Then again, maybe it’s just his way of saying, “Sorry I’m just not that into you.” I would have preferred to hear that instead.

Sigh.

Happy New Year

Thank you to all those who attended Beginnings: The Fabcasters’ New Year Party. New year, new beginnings.

Special shout outs:

To Jaybecc and JC, who made the special party pins, and to Outednarnian for distributing them. Too bad sometime in the night I lost my pin. Epic fail. =(

To Nar Cabico and Phillippe Salvador Palmos for the wonderful music.

To Bobot Lota for the wonderful venue.

And to Patron and Soju, for providing the necessary mouth disinfectant and throat lubrication that paved the way for ngala-ngala action.

Dump

Thousands of paper reams and millions of song verses have been wasted on bewailing the sorrows of the dumped. What often goes unnoticed are the difficulties that the dumper experiences as well, especially if he wants to remain friends with the one he dumped. Everyone know that breaking up is hard to do, but even those who aren’t the King’s horses and the King’s men are surprised when they realize that, once broken, it’s hard to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. But then I say, let the dumper suffer too. It takes two to tangle, and both parties share in the entanglement.

Time heals all wounds but Space is needed as well. And thus the time-space paradox of dumping: to remain close, allow space.

This Bugs Me

Yesterday I received an SMS message from Fahrenheit Bathhouse: …Enjoy r OPENING SALVO EVNTS 4 2010 “BARE BACKERS” + get d chance 2 win special fahrenheit goodies.

I was actually shocked and dismayed at the title of the event, and texted a friend to ask if the title of the event is just a creative handle or is actually a blatant, no-subtlety approach to marketing. He replied that to the best of his knowledge, it was sadly not a creative handle.

Given the recent news that there’s a dramatic increase in the number of HIV+ cases among men who have sex with men, it’s rather troubling to hear of such an event being promoted by a gay business establishment. I just hope that my friend’s guess was wrong and that it was merely a creative title for a show featuring drag queens wearing backless gowns.

It got me thinking. What happened to all the efforts to promote safe sex? Has HIV and AIDS become just another virus? Did the campaigns in fact boomeranged and made HIV and AIDS sound commonplace? That AIDS is not a fatal illness?

What is even more disturbing is the following feature on bug chasers. Watch the feature on CNN with Anderson Cooper:



And a teaser for the movie “The Gift”:

Jeeves Is Back

Back in the late 90s, I was introduced to the search engine Ask Jeeves (they named their valet, who fetches answers to any question asked, on Jeeves, Bertie Wooster's fictional valet from the works of P. G. Wodehouse). A few years after, Google eclipsed Ask Jeeves, and I lost touch of what was now Ask.com (they dropped Jeeves except in the UK). Today if you log into Ask.com (with the exception of the UK site), you’ll see an image of Jeeves, but he’s not identified.

Today I’m going to ask Jeeves to help me bring “Ask Jeeves” back.

Thanks to Ian Casocot aka sandwichspy I found out about Formspring. Just ask me anything, and I’ll ask Jeeves.

Any questions? Go ahead, click and ask.

Happy

His giddiness was palpable. I could practically spread it on bread and it’ll put Kraft out of business.

In former times, I’d be twisting of envy inside while showing a happy outside. Always the connector, never the connected—that wasn’t just a mantra but a running gag. Except that it hurt when I laughed.

But tonight it was duller, less biting. Another person’s happiness can actually make me happy. And maybe that kind of happiness shouldn’t be shoved aside for envy, but instead be fully embraced. It’s not just a gift for the other but also grace for myself.

Let us just be happy with that.

The Gray Fabcast, Part 1

The Fabcasters tackle an issue that’s quite confusing—the gray areas. Specific to romantic relationships, the gray area is called a “situationship.” Things between two people are neither black nor white; they are not officially a couple, yet they may behave as one.

In part one, three people share their stories. Corporate Closet, Migs and one of our guests, Mings (a Pinoy based in Shanghai), discuss their experiences with the gray areas.

Listen (24 min 38 sec):

Download this episode (right click and save - 23 MB)


Music credits:
“Pepperland” by The Beatles
“Black Or White” by Michael Jackson
“Pink” by Aerosmith
“Get Together” by Madonna

Bedlam 2010

After going to Bed on the first Saturday evening of 2010, my take-away from all of it was this: fedoras were sooo in, they were out by the end of the evening.

Too many fedora’d faggots spoiled the trend.

And So It Goes

by Billy Joel

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self-defense

And every time I’ve held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It’s just as well for all I’ve seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That’s if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows



And so it went.

My Apologies, Katy

(Perry, not dela Cruz. Hm’kay?)

"You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes

And you over-think
Always speak cryptically

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

You!
You don't really want to stay, no
You!
But you don't really want to go-oh

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get it off this ride"

You’re blurred. In other words, anlabo mo. Di kita ma-gets.

Of Fabcasts And The McVie Show, This 2010

The past weeks I felt bad that I’ve not been able to post an episode a day here in The McVie Show, a promise I made to myself. The hectic work schedules towards the end of the year, the numerous parties and reunions, and the increase in Fabcast recordings have eaten up much of my spare time to sit down and hammer out a decent episode.

Of the three, editing the Fabcasts has been the most time consuming. Migs once asked me how long it takes to edit one, and I honestly couldn’t give him a quick answer. On an average it takes me almost three-fourths of a day (during the weekends, mostly) to edit a 20 to 25-minute Fabcast. But several factors can adversely affect the editing, including how noisy the recording venue was, the number of songs I use, and the number of bloopers and mistakes I have to edit out.

But when Migs informed us that as of last week, our Fabcasts have reached more than 72,000 downloads, with around 20,000 just within the last 3 months, that fact astounded me. What started for me as something done just fun has turned into something bigger than anyone of us has imagined.

Do I feel any prey-shyure right now? Actually no. Every Fabcast is a unique opportunity to sharpen and hone my editing skills, and at the same time put my love of music to good use. And frankly all this editing has helped me not just in my line of work (I am in the entertainment field, after all), but also in my personal life as well. I appreciate more the value of editing, of less is more, of knowing which ones to keep and which ones to let go—sometimes hesitantly, oftentimes ruthlessly. And we are all the better for it.

As 2010 rolls in, the Fabcasters face a daunting challenge: Migs is going to be assigned permanently out of the country. How to record a Fabcast with him onboard is going to be a technological and logistic challenge, but we are willing to go for it.

After all, it’s not everyday that you stumble into something that has a positive impact on listeners, and yet is as entertaining and effortless to execute. (Well, at least the talking and recording part is effortless—laway at tahimik na lugar lang ang puhunan. Thank god I love the editing process!)

So to all you viewers of The McVie Show, when Fabcast recordings come, expect some days of repeat showings in this channel. My advanced warning and apologies this 2010 to all of you, dear viewers.

New Year, New Fabcasts

Yes, it’s with an “s” as in plural.

Download this Fabcast teaser (right click and save)

It’s gonna be a bright, brand-new Fabcasters’ year.