It’s The Month Of Decemo

“It really hurts when you give your full attention to someone, tpos you know, ahhmm hindi xa ganun sayo… sigh.”
“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”
“Many are dying for a piece of bread, but many more are dying for love.”

The above quotes I lifted from a Facebook group account. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, so the song goes; however, most suicides are also recorded around this time of the year. Yes folks. It’s Christmas time, there’s a need to be afraid. Be afraid, because of all that emo shit and the neediness of people that abound. Be afraid, because ‘tis the season of break-ups and the Twitterverse is suddenly awash in hate and hurt. Be afraid, because Hubert Webb and Hayden Kho have been given reprieves, and now the jokes are flying fast and furious. (Okay, that last statement was irrelevant; I just wanted to toss it in.)

Okay, fine; December is the month of emo-ness. Ah, all the lonely people! Strolling in a mall with D one Sunday evening, I flashed back to the time when I’d stroll the mall alone and seeing all those people with their loved ones. It can get stressful and lonely to be alone in a sea of togetherness. But thank god I was someone who often went against the tide; seeing all that togetherness made me appreciate my singlehood amidst them.

So how does one handle the attack of the lonelies? Here are some practical tips:

[1] Appreciate the term “single blessedness.” As much as married couples are blessed with one another, blessed too are the lone wolves who prowl the earth. We were alone when we were born, and we’ll face Death alone. The sooner you deal with that, the better.

[2] Learn to dine alone. Start with the sit-down restaurants; it looks more sossy eating alone in an expensive establishment. When you do fastfood joints, bring something to read. It makes you look busy, plus it diverts your mind from the attack of the lonelies. But if they do attack, just remind yourself: you’re feeding your mind as well as your tummy. You’re being good to yourself.

[3] Do physical activity. Take up a sport you like. Enroll in a gym. If you’re going to work out, do it to be healthy. Don’t do it because of a narcissistic need to be adored for your physical beauty. Do it because you need to be good to yourself.

[4] Your singular presence in a sea of togetherness already screams “I’m alone!” It is best followed by, “And I’m okay with it!” instead of a pathetic, “Please someone, anyone, love me!” Smile. Be aware and be interested in everything around you; live in the now. Do things with a purpose; even if it’s to just wander and waste your time, do so purposefully.

[5] Appreciate and devote time for your “me-time” (which is different from “single blessedness.”) Even though I am already in a relationship, I still treasure my me-time (and D also has his own me-time). Me-time means reading. Me-time means treating myself. Me-time means being good to myself.

[6] Fall in love all over again with your friends. If you have few, make some new.

[7] Fall in love all over again with your family. If you are not close to your family, then see #6.

[8] Sing: “Learn to be lonely; learn to be your one companion. Never dreamed that out in the world there are arms to hold you. You’ve always known your heart was on its own. So laugh in your loneliness, Child of the wilderness! Learn to be lonely; learn to love life that is lived alone.” (from the movie The Phantom of the Opera)

[9] Sing this too: “You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout; I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town.”

[10] Christmas comes but once a year. But remember this: Christmas comes every year. Get used to it.

Ho-ho-ho! Jingle your balls, dick your halls. Have a merry Christmas, folks.