Project Run(a)way

I don’t get it. So one day you’re in a relationship, the next day you’re out. What is this, Project Runway?

When I was a lot younger, I bought into the whole “‘til Death do us part” bit, which is why in my hopeful mind I thought that the only right way to companionship was to have a long and thorough courtship period. That courtship period serves as time for two people to get to know each other well enough, so that they have enough basis to decide whether to plunge into a serious commitment or not.

It was only much, much later on when it dawned on me that gay Filipinos don’t (and most probably won’t for several years) have the institution of marriage; thus, separation between two gay men is less messy. Consequently, two guys can officially become a couple before the “getting to know you” stage commences. No big deal, really, since we don’t have the institution to tie us down outside of personal choice.

The lack of institutionalized commitment means that gay relationships will rise and fall on the decisions of the two parties involved. On the one hand, this makes gay relationships sound so flighty, so easy-come-easy-go. But on the other hand, this separates the men from the boys.

To be committed takes dedication, patience, and honor. It can be difficult, even more so if there is no legal document that forces one to stay committed. When it’s so easy to just run away, then commitment becomes an act of will.

So if you’re someone who just jumps into a relationship, who doesn’t even stop and consider the implications of choosing to be with someone, who is more in love with being in love than with a real person, then you’re just a kid. Or you’re an old guy who perhaps needs to grow up.