Of the Fabcasters, D and I were the first couple to enter into an open relationship months after we got together. It’s not that the other Fabcasters are prudes; in fact, I think the others are also capable of being in one. It’s just that their partners aren’t interested in going open, and for an open relationship to work, it takes two to tango (with others too, hehehe).
Interestingly, D and I are also the only couple who are living together under one roof. We didn’t plan it that way. In fact, early into our relationship D said he didn’t want us to immediately live in together. He wanted to experience what it’s like having a place all to himself, taking care of the rent and the daily cleaning, maintenance and all. But that was before he had to move out of the dorm.
Living together brings the relationship to a different level. D and I have learned and are still learning how to adjust with one another on a day to day basis. Every day we continue to work on our relationship. Some days we encounter friction; some nights we end up giggling and laughing and being sweet with one another. Most days we go through a casual routine. We’re busy with making our marks in this world. We support one another mostly by just being there for each other and being witness to our individual growths.
Love may feel like a fairy tale, but staying in a loving relationship isn’t one. There is work involve. But if you both put in the work, there are perks along the way. Staying together under one roof presents new challenges too. But if both of you take on the challenges together, then you both enjoy the benefits also.
Whenever people find out that D and I are now on our second year and counting and they say something like, “Awww, that’s so sweet,” I always fight to keep my eyebrow from lifting up to the high heavens. The reason why most people go all emo when relationships end is because they still think that love is a fairy tale that magically just happens. Get real, fairies. Fairy tales require hard work too. And forever does not exist. If you want infinity, take up math; otherwise, everything else in this universe has an end.
Love yourself and appreciate the different loves you have now instead of hanging on to an unnatural and unrealistic idea of forever. And maybe then you will find out how to really be happy.
3 comments:
Ah! I misunderstood the post at first. I thought you and D had broken up for the third time.
*must improve reading comprehension*
As usual, there is little one can add to your observations, Joel, except to nod one's head in agreement. I too share your - is it disdain? - for some people's belief that fairy tales and happy ever afters occur all by themselves.
Cinderella had to scrub scrub scrub her way to her happy ending. Sleeping Beauty had to wake up and smell the coffee (or the medieval equivalent). And Belle had to put up with the Beast's tantrums and the fact that he shed all over the furniture.
And even after all that, Ever After never was. But they don't show that in the end credits.
@RUDEBOY: Ah, I see where my writing was vague.
*must rewrite for better clarity*
There! I hope my changes make things clearer. :)
I love this entry Joel. =)
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