On Marriage, Gay Or Otherwise

The remaining Fabcasters and members of the peanut gallery who were staycationing in the metro met up at Casa De CC last Holy Thursday to enjoy pizza, get drunk on wine and harder spirits, and shoot the breeze atop CC’s rooftop balcony. We even saw a double rainbow before we started seeing double, thanks to all that alcohol.

But sometime before everyone got too tipsy, CC posed a question for everyone: Do you believe in gay marriage? And will you marry your current partner?

In the next few paragraphs, I’m not out to convince anyone to think the way I do. I’m just stating what I believe and don’t.

I do not believe in happy ever after. Happiness isn’t a constant state that remains with you and your partner the moment you two make it official. One day it’s there, the next day, it’s threatened. Happiness is something that the individual chooses and that the both of you work on.

I do not believe in everlasting love. Everything ends in death. When the two of you die, what’s left is only the memory of the love—and perhaps an offspring, a pet, or a piece of property—shared.

I believe civil marriage should be made available to everyone who wants to enter into such an arrangement, regardless of sexual preference. I may not necessarily get married, but I want those who desire marriage the opportunity to marry.

Having said that, I prefer that divorce should be made available too. There must be a way to dissolve a partnership, especially if both parties agree to the dissolution. I don’t believe in the quote, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” That quote is applicable only to the faithful. But why apply the same norms to non-believers? My eyebrows also fly off their handle when I hear the argument: “But divorce will weaken the institution of marriage by making divorce available even to the faithful.” First of all, the institution is still thriving despite divorce being available in almost all countries. Second, it is not the institution that’s weak; rather, it speaks more about the weakness of a couple’s faith should they allow themselves to succumb to divorce.

So will I want to marry D? Funny thing is, had I been asked the same question almost 3 years ago, when D and I first started out, my answer would have been no. But after hearing Suze Orman explain clearly the advantages and benefits of marriage, I revised my initial decision. Yes, so long as we can also opt out of such an arrangement.

As for those who point to their parents as shining examples of sticking it out through thick or thin, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do them part, I say, “Good for them. But again, not everyone will want that.

At the end of the day, it’s all about allowing personal choices and upholding personal responsibilities for making choices.