Define Chimera

“Is there such a thing as unconditional love?” someone posted on his Facebook status. Some replies were funny, others cynical. Most were an earnest variation of “Yes, but…,” which was funny because it meant unconditional love had conditions. Which got me thinking: Is there, really?

So the first thing I did was to define terms:

·      Unconditional: Without conditions or limitations; absolute

·      Unconditional love: A term that means to love someone regardless of the loved one's qualities or actions. The paradigm of unconditional love is a mother's love for her newborn. Unconditional love is often used to describe the love in an idealized romantic relationship. It may sometimes also be used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships.

·      Love: Having stated the above on unconditional love, we will now limit ourselves to romantic love, because that was the context in which the original question was asked. We will exclude other forms of love, like platonic love, filial love, love of family, love of friends, love of country, even love of Siam (that’s just a movie, folks!). We will also exclude deities like God, Allah and their ilk, for obvious reasons.

Then it hit me. Unconditional love is a chimera, a myth.

By its very definition, unconditional love should have no limits or conditions; and yet, we know for a fact that our love has reasons. We say, “I love you because…” and those reasons, in effect, are the conditions. “I love him because he’s straight-acting;” what if he’s effem? “I love him because he makes me laugh;” what if he doesn’t have a sense of humor at all? “I love him because he really cares for me;” what if he wouldn’t even give a damn even if you’re dying? Can you still love that person even when he shows no cause, no reason for you to love him?

In fact, the definition of “unconditional” is so absolute, that one should love a person for no apparent reason at all, except for the fact that he or she exists. Going even further, if true unconditional love exists, then we should have achieved world peace by now because everyone will love everyone else, regardless.

So the next time someone tells you, “I love you unconditionally,” give him a good whack on the side of his head; that ought to knock some sense into him. And if someone says, “Unconditional love exists,” a stronger whack will do the trick. Love will always have limits, often set by you.