Life And Death

My immediate boss’ mother lived a full life. A diabetic who was in her 80s, she was constantly battling complications left and right. Last April she was hospitalized. Given her condition, the family knew that she would never leave that hospital room alive; it was just a matter of time. But that time stretched to three months.

This morning my boss texted that her mother passed away peacefully at around 9am. Her message was placid: “We have been blessed a million times over with her and we celebrate her life well-lived.”

* * * * *

We both went to the same gym. We were working for ad agencies when I first met him. And he and I were bloggers. He was always buffed up, although he did slim down dramatically after coming back from a long illness; I still am battling the bulge. He stayed in advertising; I left for a different industry. He blogged anonymously under a pseudonym; in my blog, I only withhold my real family name.

We shared battle stories of encounters in gym saunas and in bathhouses. He was the raunchier one, kinkier and more adventurous. If I had half of his sexcapades, my “Bathhouse Book” would have been encyclopedia-thick.

Last year I didn’t see him for a stretch of time at the gym. On his FB status, I saw that he was recuperating from some illness and was dying to get back to his exercise routine. When he got back he was slimmer, but he was determined to pump his body back to his previous bulky self.

Then I got lazy and didn’t see the gym for several months. When I came back, I didn’t see him anymore.

Today I found out he was dead. I found out from Facebook; a common friend posted a message of condolence on his wall. I checked his wall; messages of “farewell” and “rest in peace” were slowly coming in.

* * * * *

Death gives value to Life. Death puts Life in its proper perspective.

Death and Life are but two sides of the same coin.

Stigma: The Jake And Miguel Story

“Hey McVie! Can you please reference this on your blog? Thanks!”

That was Jake Lopez’s message to me on Facebook. Jake is the guy the Fabcasters featured before, the Fil-American who was knowingly infected with HIV by a friend. This (yes, you can click on the link first before you continue reading) apparently is the story of a guy named Miguel who sent Jake a message on Facebook, saying how gay men like Jake have no one to blame for their positive status but themselves. As far as this message-sender was concerned, Jake was being hypocritical in his current advocacy because he was sexually promiscuous in the first place.

Prior to Jake sending me the message, I had read Miguel’s messages on Jake’s wall. (I think Jake has wisely taken them down from his wall; I can’t find the exchange anymore.) And while Jake has his own guesses as to what possessed Miguel to mouth off like that on his wall, my take is this.

I sensed a bit of online grandstanding from Miguel. You know how guys behave differently online versus offline? Online they’re gutsier, more abrasive and aggressive; but when you meet them in person, they end up meek, mild-mannered and agreeable. I won’t be surprised that to a certain extent this guy was purposely trying to get a raise from Jake.

But on the other hand, I also sensed that Miguel actually believes in what he was saying. In which case, Jake was right in pointing out the stigma that gay men, especially those who are HIV+, have to endure. People like Miguel actually believe that promiscuous gay men deserve getting HIV; it’s their punishment. And because they brought it upon themselves, they have no right to warn other gay men to play safe. Now what kind of illogical thinking is that? First, Miguel obviously didn’t read or listen very well to Jake’s story; Jake’s mistake wasn’t promiscuity, but rather an unfortunate lapse in judgement for one instance. Second, it’s the people who made mistakes who are often in the best position to warn others how to avoid making such mistakes.

Jake, it’s good that you still believe in reaching out to people like Miguel. Me? His message won’t even see the light of day.

The Q&A Fabcast, Part 2

For our second phone-in question, we have Rocky Sunico, the blogger behind The Geeky Guide to Nearly Everything.

At the start we actually had a hard time having a conversation with Rocky because Migs’ call kept dropping. I actually was kind enough to edit down the number of dropped calls to two; in reality, the dropped calls numbered around four.

Rocky’s question resonates with the first question by Ton, who was being pressured by the LGTB group in his office to come out. Listen in and enjoy:

Download this fabcast (right click and save)

Part 2 music credits:
“Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster The People
“I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross
“Lazy Calm” by Cocteau Twins
“I Am What I Am” by Gloria’s House

Waiting For Eugene

Chris Martinez is a friend and the writer. Marlon Rivera is a friend and the director. Eugene Domingo is a friend and the star. JM De Guzman is... shet, crush ko siya! (Sayang, di ko masabing friend ko siya, hahaha!)



Now tell me, is this a must-see? Or is this a must-see?! Yes, this is a must-see!

One-iversary

“We’re one but we’re not the same. We get to carry each other, carry each other.” -- One, U2

The Q&A Fabcast, Part 1

After the highly emotional Fabcast with Jake, the Fabcasters were in the mood to record a light, not too serious, fun fabcast. “Yung baklaan lang!” we said to one another.

Yeah. Riiiiight.

We were surprised when Migs announced that he had arrange several listeners to ask a phone-in question to the Fabcasters. We’ve always planned to do something like that, especially when Migs was still in the U.S. But because he kept flying back to Manila for work at that time, we always ended up recording while he was here. So at long last, we were able to experiment with technology.

We had four callers with four questions for the Fabcasters and the peanut gallery. Here is the first caller, Ton. Listen and enjoy!

   
   

   

Download this Fabcast (right click and save)

Part 1 music credits:
“Ask” by The Smiths
“Shut Up And Let Me Go” by The Ting Tings

Le Freak

I have yet to see someone I know really freak out. As in, go ballistic like the one below. Check it out:



At first I was skeptical; was this staged? But as I watched the video, I thought, man, this kid must be a Method actor to commit himself 100% to several roles. To wit:

First he plays Disgruntled Spoiled US Teen.

Then he channels Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

Then, viola! He’s magician David Copperfield.

Suddenly, he’s a gay porn star. Is he really serious? He wants to shove the TV remote up where the sun don’t shine?

Hulk rage! (But I don’t recall the Hulk try to injure himself with a shoe.)

More Linda Blair bed-listhenics.

“SHUT UP!” I love it how, despite all that huffing and puffing, one shout (probably from his dad) shut him up pretty quickly.

Spoiled brat.