Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Bohol Pics

For more pictures, check out The McView Show at my McMultiply site (see in McLinks).

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The Bohol Diaries, part 2

Dec. 25, 9:03pm

My mom and I bumped into a contemporary of my dad’s at the market yesterday. She told my mom I looked so much like my dad. Funny, I always thought I got more of my mom’s features. But I suppose that’s what age does, make my face more angular. Wait… is it age or my working out, ehehehe? But I guess after this season I’ll be back to curves, ahahaha. Dios ko, we had our Noche Buena at our aunt’s place after the 11:45pm mass that ended at around 1am, and the star attraction of the feast was… hold your arteries… a whole lechon. Good lord. Plus our aunt also had dinuguan and ham and, oh yeah, sotanghon soup. Roasted pig, bloody innards, more pork and a light hearty soup to lessen the guilt.

All over Bilar there are groups of carolers going from house to house. Most of them are the nuisance kind, the ones who sing in one flat note no matter what the song was. Then there are the elderly ones, the ones who take time out to learn the songs and do harmonizing. Then there are the pastores, which I think is a subset of carolers. They’re often all-female and wear matching costumes. They have a set number consisting of several songs and specific choreography that goes with each song. The pastores sing the shepherds’ songs in front of the baby Jesus in the belen; in their songs, the shepherds go looking for the Child Jesus and eventually find Him, thanks to the help of other shepherds.

Thank god most of the songs the pastores sing are in Bisaya; it’s always unintentionally hilarious whenever ordinary carolers sing English or Latin carols. Most of the oldies have fantastic blending; all of them have mature voices, so the natural timbre of each and every voice is solid and full. But their pronunciation and diction! “We wesh yu a miri Krees-mus!” and “Be-ne-te ador-re-mos, be-ne-te ador-re-mos, be-ne-te ador-re-mo-hos domi-noh!” Even my mom, who often shrugs off such things as minor faults, was sorely tempted to teach them right there and then the right way to pronounce the words.

Another weird practice the carolers here have is ending their singing with one big “Pasko!” It’s an exclamation point to signal the end of their singing. But sometimes they say it with such force, it’s as if they were angry at the end. This is especially prevalent with kiddie carolers.

The Bohol Diaries, part 1

Dec. 23, 1:05pm. Two days before Christmas. Yesterday was our fifth day in Bohol, but it was the first day we set foot on the beach. The past few days were spent going back and forth from Bilar to Tagbilaran and back. We kept going back to the mall for supplies and other materials needed for the house; it was unoccupied for almost a year, and many things had to be cleaned up or replaced. We also spent the time just visiting relatives.

Too bad our town of Bilar does not have an internet café yet. I’ve discovered several wi-fi spots in Tagbilaran, so whenever I’m there I take the time out to surf—yes, I brought my laptop with me. It’s our default entertainment system—a DVD, player and instant photo “developer” in one. I had to buy laptop speakers in Island City Mall (or ICM, as the locals call it). I found a pair that uses the laptop’s USB port as its power source. That one cost me only seven hundred pesos.

In ICM I saw a computer shop selling the latest generation iPod Nanos at almost a thousand pesos cheaper compared to their prices in Metro Manila. I had to remind myself several times that I already have one. I already have one. I already have one. There I go again.

Going back to the beach: we stayed there for an afternoon only. There were only a few people on the beach since it was a weekday—surprisingly there were still classes and work that day. Hehehe. Last year there were a lot of Koreans; yesterday I saw only Caucasians. There were two groups holding their Christmas parties on the beach. Damn, we can’t do that for our agency.

I brought three DVDs and five books with me. I’ve watched two of the DVDs and I’ve plowed through two books already and it’s only our sixth day. Man, I need to buy new books when we go back to Tagbilaran.

* * * * *

Dec. 23, 8:55pm. For the past 5 days I’ve been going to sleep before midnight and waking up at around 8am. Tonight is our sixth night, and I’m sure I’ll be in la-la land before midnight again. This is a welcome change from the usual. Embrace it and enjoy it.

I’m trying to watch my diet but I cannot say no to newly cooked, steaming-hot rice. Mmmm! I’m trying to eat smaller portions, but with the rice it’s so easy to just get one more serving of pork, one more piece of chicken. Argh. It’s a delicious dilemma, one that will haunt me when I’m back in the gym come January. My trainer will most likely berate me, but I’m sure inwardly he’ll be happy that I’ll have to avail of another 10 sessions. That means sure income for him. Hahaha.

But then again I just might surprise myself.

But then once again, Christmas is almost here. My aunt promises lechon for Noche Buena (gasp!) and my mom upped the ante by offering another lechon for Dec. 26. And we still have two boxes of Adelina ham in our fridge. Ano ba yan, puro kabababuyan!

Must. Exercise. Restraint.

Hmmm. Five days and I haven’t jacked off yet. Maybe practicing restraint will be easier than I thought. Ha.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Departure and Arrival

Dec. 18, 1:00pm / NAIA 2

“All passengers of PAL flight 177 bound for Tagbilaran, your gate is at 3A.”

Since we still had about an hour before boarding, I decided to scope out my fellow passengers, the ones who rushed to the 3A area as if being the closest would guarantee them better seats. Hello, we have assigned seating! I guess it’s that “Me first!” attitude of most people. So I’m checking out the other passengers and oh my gosh are there no cute guys going to Bohol?! Lahat ba ng mga papuntang Bohol, mga pangit?! My gosh, no wonder I’m still single.

The flight was uneventful. The flight steward was, ahem, one of us. Discreet, yes, but still—my gaydar knew. A slight swish of the wrist, a tilt of the head, a discreet pout—hey sister, go sister go! Because it’s PAL, there were no in-flight games, thank gawd.

* * * * *

Touchdown in Bohol was at 4:25pm. By the time we were picked up by my uncle (my mom’s younger brother) and brought to their house for some refreshments, it was already quarter to six. A quick trip to the local mall—more about the mall later—and we were on our 45-minute trip to our hometown of Bilar, Bohol. Bilar is located close to the middle of the island. Most of my friends assume we live near the beach—far from it. Literally. Because we don’t have our own means of transportation available when we’re in Bohol, going to the beach becomes a tediously full-blown production number. But at least my mom already told my uncle we planned to go to Balicasag and Pamilacan islands. The beach beckons!

* * * * *

We arrived at 7:30pm to a house with no electricity, no water (yaaaaak!), and dust galore. Thank god for my cousin who knew where the main electrical switch was (yehey!) and who brought the plumber over to fix a leak and a plugged pipe (yehey!).

And after about an hour of fixing up, we had comfy, clean beds. By 9pm the lights in most of the houses around Bilar were off. Talk about bucolic!

My gosh, this is gonna be one heck of a real vacation for me! Rest, read, write now and then, then rest again.

And no sex for two weeks!


Game na ba ako? Game na!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Have A Ball This Christmas!

The past two weeks in the office have been hectic. I’m finishing off everything I can before I leave for Bohol. I’m looking forward to waking up without an alarm clock, sleeping whenever I want, and having the time to catch up on my reading. I’m sure of bringing two books; by this weekend that number may go up to four.

Since I don’t have a 3G phone or a landline, and I’m not sure if our little town of Bilar, Bohol has an internet café already (last year there wasn’t one), then The McVie Show will only have intermittent broadcasts throughout the Yuletide season up to the New Year. So let me take this opportunity to give my Christmas message:

May this be a season of love, joy and thanksgiving. Treasure your family and friends. Be thankful for who you are and what you have right now. Let go of the past, embrace the now, and don’t worry too much about the future. Appreciate. Exercise. And drink lots of water.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Joyful New Year, folks!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Simply McVie

For most people, their philosophy in life is to “upgrade.” To be honest I really believed that I too am one of those people. But for some strange reason, recently I’ve been choosing to “downgrade” instead.

From a Sony Ericsson Z600 with camera, Bluetooth, infrared and other bells and whistles, I chose to go with a Motorola W220. No camera, no Bluetooth, no infrared. According to its brochure, its special feature is the built-in FM radio. Wow, I’m overwhelmed. But I really, really love my new phone.

I recently replaced my 4G iPod mini to a 2G iPod nano—remastered lang nga, ehehehe. I realize I don’t need all that gigabytes. I’m bequeathing my old iPod to my younger brother.

I also changed my goals in the gym. From wanting to be hunk-a-licious, I’ve revised my goals; now I’m more interested in achieving a healthy-looking body than in becoming Mr. Body Beautiful.

For years I’ve always wanted to be in a relationship. But this year I’m even more thankful that my life is simpler without a boyfriend.

And for several years now I’ve been reducing my list of people who’ll receive Christmas gifts from me. This year is no exception. Maybe it’s because I always leave my Christmas shopping to the last minute. When you have no time, you just choose the really important ones whom you’ll give gifts to. It’s a great exercise—you really realize who are the ones whom you’re closest to, the ones whom you care for the most, the ones who’ll understand if you don’t give them anything and will think nothing of it, the ones who’ll understand if you don’t give them anything but will resent it behind your back… and those people in your life who feel they’re entitled to a gift from you but really don’t deserve any. Hey, why should I be grateful for what you do for me? That’s a job, not a favor, you’re doing. Heck, it’s your job.

And because we’re leaving for Bohol on the 18th already, I have a total of about 24 hours to do all of my Christmas shopping.

Thank god I’ve simplified my life. Thank god I’ve downsized.

Friday, December 08, 2006

News Flash


Cops bag suspects in slay of ABS-CBN exec

The Quezon City police on Thursday announced the arrest of two suspects in the killing of ABS-CBN executive producer Joselito Siervo, TV Patrol World reported.

Senior Superintendent Magtanggol Gatdula of the Quezon City police said operatives searched for the suspects in Metro Manila and provinces nearby before locating Alfie Cabatuando, 24, and Christopher Datugo, 38, in Camarin, Caloocan City.

Gatdula said the suspects admitted to the crime. Cabatuando said he was the one who stabbed Siervo to death on November 3 while Dasugo served as a lookout.

Police found Siervo’s digital camera, cellular phone and SIM (subscriber identification module) card and the murder weapon in the hands of the suspects.

Murder charges will be filed against Cabatuando and Dasugo.

Siervo, 38, was the executive producer of ABS-CBN’s reality show “Pinoy Dream Academy.” He was found dead in his Quezon City home with 12 stab wounds to various parts of the body.

Give Me Mistletoe!

Last night was our Christmas party. People got drunk. A straight male client kept trying to get me to take off my coat. Later on he kissed me. Oh yeah, and he also straddled me in front of everyone; I think we have pictures of that. I just looove uninhibited straight guys.

Today I have a bum tummy and a slight headache. Ugh.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

A New McLook

Last week during my annual physical check-up, the optometrist advised me to get reading glasses. For most people they’d balk at doing that; they’d equate it to “getting old.” I know my dad did; he put off getting a pair of glasses until my mom finally hounded him. But for me it was a great excuse to get some cool geeky props! So I got me a pair of rimless ones. They’re only reading glasses, so I look geeky only when I’m reading. Oh well.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Bohol On My Mind

It’s official. The McVies will be in Bohol from Dec. 18, 2006 until Jan. 4, 2007.

When I was a kid in the 70s I hated going home to Bohol. First of all I never grew up there anyway, so I never considered it “my home,” just “my parents’ home.” Back then there was no electricity in our town of Bilar. For a kid that was torture—no TV! At night they bring out gas lanterns, which in turn attracted flying cockroaches and beetles, especially the salagubang which I hated. And when it was going to rain, a swarm of gamu-gamos would flock to the lamps. Ugh. But because we were seven kids, our parents couldn’t afford to bring us to Bohol every year. They would go home without us, but for us that was okay. We were too busy with other stuff.

So I grew up distant from the island. I became very busy with school theater then with work. For me Bohol was just an island where we got our maids.

My romance with the island started at the same time I fell in love with my family all over again. When our maternal grandma died in 2000, she was the last of the grandparents to go. So my mom insisted that we all went home to bury her. My brothers, sisters and cousins were inseparable—we’d go around the island discovering new places. That was a great one-week vacation for us. After that I decided I want to visit Bohol at least once a year. So almost every Christmas and New Year we’d be there, away from the Manila holiday traffic and all that smoke come New Year’s Eve (except last year—Christmas was spent in Baguio, New Year in Bohol).

Lately I’ve been dreaming of spending several months in a year in Bohol. If I can figure out a way of being able to shuttle back and forth between Manila and Bohol, I will. I don’t know what I’ll be doing, but at least I’m sure I’ll still be airing The McVie Show. Well, one can dream for now.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Our Latest Project

More Woods

Tiger Woods, Victor Wood, Tara Woods! Click on “The McView Show in McMultiply” in the McLinks (saksakan ng “Mc’s,” I know) and look for “Boom-Tara-Tara Woods” folder.

Sunday, December 03, 2006


What’s with this bossa nova craze? I really don’t get it. At the record store I saw bossa nova Beatles, even bossa nova VST & Company… and now bossa nova Disney?! Okay so maybe the sound is soothing and it’s sophisticated yet simple enough to appreciate. But still. Suddenly there are so many of these bossa nova albums that they now occupy a whole shelf in major record stores. Why bossa nova, of all rhythms? Why not something cooler, like reggae? Bossa nova’s one of the rhythm choices I never picked when I was toying around with those early Yamaha organs or those Casiotones. But that’s not really the reason why this bossa nova popularity gets my goat. I think I realized it one day when I was having dinner and I had to sit through an entire meal listening to some female singer do an insipid bossa nova version of “Digging Your Scene” by the Blow Monkeys. It’s not the bossa nova rhythm per se; in fact, it is rather relaxing. Rather, it is the way a number of these cash-on-a-craze artists have merely transposed existing songs into a bossa nova beat without even thinking of a good enough reason to do it except the obvious financial one; I suppose they all want to be bossa nouveau riche, after all. And it’s this obviousness that’s so painfully dissonant to the ears. It’s really lazy music and even lazier musicianship, and they’re earning money without earning their dues. I propose we gather all these bossa poseurs and exile them far, far away in some remote village by a cliff near the edge of ocean; there they’ll inflict their boring bossa on one another. For them that place is hell. For us we’ll call it Bossa Nova Villa. (Pa-thump-thump!)

If A Picture Paints A Thousand Words…

… then what are dialogue balloons in comics for?

(Thanks to my officemates who didn’t realize they were my subjects for this shot.)


Well, you know it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white.
– Michael Jackson, “Black or White”

Love my phone, love my laptop.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Fairly Faggy

Your Brain is 60% Female, 40% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve