Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

In our latest Fabcast we talked about religion a lot, but we also touched on (well actually, “sideswiped” is more like it) people’s views on sex.

I find it interesting that there are people who view sex outside the confines (yes Virginia, I used that word on purpose) of marriage—preferably by the Church—to be “wrong”, thus justifying labeling it a “sin”. What makes it wrong? The basic idea is that sex should and must be: [1] coupled with love; and [2] done within the confines (there’s that word again) of monogamy.

Let’s tackle the first part. The sex act in and of itself, devoid of that transcendental ingredient called love—funny, some people call it a crazy little thing—is on the same level as animals going at it. So to engage in sex that is purely for passion or recreation means that one treats the other person as less than human. Or to simplify the Catholic equation: sex sans love equals doggie style.

This is where I beg to differ with the Catholic Church, and not purely out of my predilection for the doggie style. When I have recreational, passionate sex with another person in the bathhouse, motel or gym, I don’t see them as less than human nor do I treat them inhumanely. (Even if someone pleads with me, “Babuyin mo ako!” I will treat is as sexual play-acting; it’s not as if I truly consider him Porky Pig.) And while the sex act consists of a lot of self-gratification, what turns me on and further satisfies me is to see the other guy really, truly enjoy himself too. Is that a less-than-human treatment?

Let’s tackle the second part. Monogamy is defined in Wikipedia as “the custom or condition of having only one mate in a relationship, thus forming a couple. The word monogamy comes from the Greek word monos, which means one or alone, and the Greek word gamos, which means marriage or union.” So does this mean that sex is only for those in relationships? This discriminates against singles. But the Church goes one step further—premarital sex is also not allowed.

I believe that two cognizant and consenting adults can engage in sex without love as a necessary condition (isn’t it ironic that a lot of immature people fall head-over-heels in love after they had sex?) and while they are still single or not yet married. What is important is to recognize the other person’s dignity and treat him accordingly with the respect of another fellow human being. Do not wish him ill will or harm. And to always take responsibility for your sexual activities.

Why so scared of sex? Thank Catholic guilt for that. As Frankie said (while going to Hollywood, one presumes): “Relax… when you wanna come.”