Nice Guys Finish Last

A friend of mine tweeted: A friend is asking why a "nice guy like me" is still single. Hmm. I honestly don't know.

I used to ask myself that question too. But then I got tired of asking the same question and getting no answers. I went deeper and asked myself if I qualified as a “nice guy.” For years I tried to be Mister Nice Guy as my way of deflecting suspicions that I’m gay. But what I didn’t realize is that I was just pretending to be Mister Nice Guy; I honestly didn’t believe my own hype.

So I stopped being a “nice guy” and just concentrated on being the guy who I want to be. And in the process, I began to know more who I was and what my values were. Besides, what’s a “nice guy” anyway? More importantly, I eventually found the answer to that question.

But first, another realization: the question is framed wrong. “Why is a nice guy like me still single?” assumes that nice guys always get partnered; ergo, if one is nice, one will get a partner. Being nice is no guarantee for immediate coupling. Besides, how many “bad” guys (and girls) you know are in relationships? See?

The right question to ask is, “Why am I still single?” Then you’d realize that there are many factors involved in getting a partner that a person cannot possibly be totally responsible for his single status. It takes two to tango; the other person is someone beyond your control or your responsibility.

So what is the answer to the right question, “Why are you still single?” The answer? Just because.

Dear friend, the next time someone asks you, “Why is a nice guy like you still single?” answer nicely, “Because I’m not nice.” Wink, then walk away.