Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Monday, June 30, 2008

Ay-yay-eye Candy!

The traffic along EDSA Guadalupe going south is not from the buses crowding in front of Loyola. The traffic is caused by motorists such as myself slowing down to savor what is undoubtedly one of the more pleasant road hazards I’ve seen in recent months.

I’m talking about the Folded & Hung billboard. Nah, not the Angel Locsin one! I really don’t get all the brouhaha over her going topless on a billboard, but hey, at least the Moral Minority is not going gaga over the other topless model of F&H.

Yes, I’m talking about the one with Joem Bascon.

To advertisers like F&H, Joem is Papa P. without the prohibitive price tag. To mere mortals like me, Joem is a wet dream come true in tarpaulin. For weeks I’ve been trying to figure out a way to get a picture of his billboard, but those damn buses always ruin my shot (besides, the MMDA traffic enforcers might flag me down for driving and shooting while drooling). So imagine my delight when I saw his poster up in the F&H store. I had to take stolen shots.



And here is another picture of him. Haaay, panalo!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Death And PR

While I wasn’t particularly close to Duff—you know you’re from TA if you call him that—his death struck a chord. It’s the idea that the death of one diminishes us all in some way. In which case, we should all feel so miniscule these days given the death toll of Typhoon Frank, more so with the sinking of MV Princess of the Stars.

However, it seems that the owners of Sulpicio Lines and their hired attorneys do not feel little at all. In fact, they even feel big enough to blame everyone else for the sinking of the ship. First they pointed the blame to “an act of God”. Since they began with the Almighty, why stop there? They next blamed PAGASA and threatened to sue for negligence. Now Del Monte Corporation has alerted the authorities that there is a huge cargo of their pesticides in the cargo hull of the ship; the reaction of Sulpicio to this news has been typical of their responses for the past few days: “D’uh, gee, we didn’t know that!”

My god.

Let us for a moment set aside decent human reaction in the face of great tragedy. Let us even forget about the moral thing to do. From a corporate public relations point-of-view, the statements coming from Sulpicio show that these folks are woefully insensitive to the situation. Let’s toss in “stupid,” “dim-witted” and “dense” into the list of apt descriptions as well.

Shouldn’t their lawyers know some basic PR? Do they teach that in law school? And shouldn’t they advise their clients to just shut their traps? It seems that ever statement, every action or non-action (what with their reported hesitation to allow the floating of the ship because doing that will mean getting a smaller amount in insurance claims) from them is an act of god-awful PR. It’s a desperate kind of business self-preservation that will eventually sink them. But while that strikes me as ironic justice, I think someone should just tell them that the most prudent course of action is also the correct one: Do the right thing.

Hey, maybe all those deaths have diminished them after all. Unfortunately all the diminishing happened in their brains.

Indie-gnation

Because I was sooo busy the past two weeks (and I got sick last week, the inevitable breakdown of the body after several days of lack of sleep), I decided to do a back-to-back indie-fest today.

Oops.

* * * * *

Who Got Hugot?

If anybody out there got what the film Hugot was about, please explain it to the filmmakers. They need your help pronto.

I do not consider myself the sharpest critical mind when it comes to films—I often get to hear someone else’s more discerning views on a movie. But Hugot made me feel like an idiot. I guess I really am, given the following which is my take on the movie.

It starts with a guy typing something on a laptop (or I think that’s how I remember the first scene). Then the movie jumps to the story of two student activists passing by a yuppie on a pedestrian overpass at night—and then one of the students collapse in exhaustion. And then comes one of the most surreal sequences I’ve ever seen. In several badly cast, badly acted, badly directed, badly edited and badly paced sequences, two guys parade around in their white briefs for no reason at all. They both have this air of “we’re doing something arty and important” mixed with a whiff of “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing” in their performances. They show off a fair amount of atrocious acting and bilbil-ous bodies. One of them even displays his lack of shame and dance skills in a pashmina-accessoried performance. It is creepy to behold.

Then the movie shifts to a young hooligan whose brother was hospitalized after an accident. In need of money, he first turns to--drinking with his buddies. Then he whacks a gay beauty contest winner on the head with the trophy so that he can steal the prize money. Finally he has beer and videoke in a gay cop’s house; later on it’s the gay cop’s turn to use hooligan’s “microphone”.

The movie ping-pongs back and forth to the apartment of the yuppie; there he also happens to have Anna Capri as his overacting, “I’m-just-lending-my-name-to-this-project” friend. Together they entice the student activists into a game of strip Q-&-A. Then the yuppie’s poor maid gets dragged into the game, eventually stripping down into her panties and showing massive double-breast exposure. Then much later on the two students are making out with her! Why? I have no idea. Did that really happened, or was that just a hallucination? Heck, at this point I’m wondering if, as a viewer, I hallucinated that scene!

And then it ends. A little kid turns out to be—hmmm, now I’m not so sure—the blogger at the start of the movie. Why? And more importantly, what for? Truly, Hugot is an assault on the senses and sensibilities. It took all my willpower not to throw my bottle of mineral water at the screen.

Serbis Is Serviceable

To be fair, I did not feel like tossing a bottle at the screen for this one. Brillante Ma. Mendoza’s Serbis received mixed reviews in Cannes. After watching it, I’m not surprised. The acting over-all is top-notch, and the cinematography is excellent. But if you ask me what the movie is about, this is my answer: It’s a pointless movie about a bunch of nobodies going nowhere.

And it’s also a great excuse to expose twice Coco Martin’s asstonishingly beautiful behind. The make-up on his ass should be cited for Best Performance By A Bronzer. Unfortunately Mendoza wasn’t contented to go loco over Coco.

He also managed to make veteran actress Gina Pareño agree to a bathing scene. For her nude scene she was shot from behind, so that the viewers were treated to a full view of her back’s folds and flab. A courageous act on Pareño’s part, but was it necessary? That scene showed her character being naked and vulnerable, but in almost every scene she was in, her nakedness and vulnerability showed, even when fully clothed. (Maybe it has something to do with her line about wishing life were as simple as picking clothes off the line—some are dry, some are wet, some are still damp. So what happens when you have nothing to pick? You end up crying while taking a bath with a tabo and having the international audience of Cannes see all the folds in your back so that they can murmur to one another, “What a courageous actress!”)

To be fair, Pareño’s acting here was far better than her performance in Ploning—there, her scenery-devouring histrionics was capable of sinking the MV Princess of the Stars had it ventured near the shores of Palawan. Maybe Mendoza wanted to give Pareño her Meryl-Streep-stripping-in-Bridges-Of-Madison-County moment.

Sound design and sound engineering were terrible. No wonder several reviews cited the “noise level” of the movie. Too bad, given that visually the movie was quite a feast for the eyes.

Ultimately I had a hard time figuring out what the filmmaker wanted to say in this film. Maybe he wants the movie to be as aimless as the characters in the film. No wait! In the end Coco Martin’s character takes flight, going against the flow of a religious precession to go… where? Oh I know! He’s going to Manila to be a sex-servicing male masseur. Good lord, this is the prequel to Masahista.

* * * * *

That makes two inscrutable indie films in one day. Is that what an indie film is, inscrutable? Indie-maintindihan?

Haaay naku, indie ko na gusto ‘to, ha!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Death And Birthday

(from http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/regions/
view_article.php?article_id=144727)


Body of missing mountaineer found in Zambales

By Tonette Orejas
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 06:48pm (Mla time) 06/25/2008

MARIVELES, Bataan, Philippines -- The body of one of three mountaineers swept by a strong current in San Antonio, Zambales, on Sunday was found at past 3 p.m. on Wednesday.

Policemen found the body of Thaddeus Reantaso at the shoreline of the Hermana Mayor Island in Sta. Cruz town, more than 100 kilometers from the creek where he and two others were swept in the village of Pundaquit, San Antonio town, according to Senior Superintendent Rolando Felix, Zambales police chief.

Felix, in a telephone interview, said the decomposing body of Reantaso was found on his 32nd birthday.

Reantaso's fellow climbers, Joseph Felarca and Jhoana Pimentel, were found dead on Sunday and Monday, respectively, by policemen and Philippine Navy frogmen. Nine of their colleagues were rescued on Sunday.

Village officials in Pundaquit said the group went to the Annawangin beach south of the village but they encountered swollen creeks on their way back to the town proper on Sunday afternoon.

Typhoon “Frank” (international codename: Fengshen) was crossing Zambales at that time, carrying strong rains and winds.

The late Thaddeus Reantaso, flanked by Peter Pezaris (president and founder of Multiply) and David Hersh (Multiply's Vice President of Business Development).

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

A Series Of Unfortunate Exchanges

The following series of email exchanges in our theater company’s egroup started Monday, 23 June 2008. The email at the end was received at 6:25pm today, 25 June 2008.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Andrew de Castro <*********@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hi guys
I read some disturbing news about mountaineers in trouble in Zambales. It said one of the missing is a Thadeaus Reandazo. I am hoping it is not our very own Duff Reantaso. At any rate we should pray for his safety!

Andrew

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Joseph dela Cruz <*********@hotmail.com> wrote:

Nabasa ko ito sa inquirer. Sana nga hindi si Duff natin. Kung siya man ito, sana ligtas naman siya.

http://newsinfo. inquirer. net/inquirerhead lines/regions/ view/20080624-144392/Frank-leaves-2-mountaineers-dead-in-Zambales

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Andrew de Castro <*********@ yahoo.com> wrote:

This is in Pundaquit, Zambales, Anawangin Cove to be precise. That area can only be reached by hiking or by boat. No roads, so rescue will be tedious.

I was just casually reading the news because it involved a place where I surf, then was shocked to read Duff's name as missing. Lets all pray that he made it to safety

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

faye rojas <*********@yahoo.com> wrote:

I got a text message today (but not from Judith... it came from a number that wasn't listed in my contacts) asking for prayers for Duff's safety... that "he's been missing since yesterday. Got separated from his mountaineering group in pundaquit, zambales." i'll confirm the news with our other friends...

Faye

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

imo_quibilan <*********@yahoo.com> wrote:

Kakalungkot naman ito. I hope he's alright.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

donato karingal <*********@yahoo.com> wrote:

oo nga
advanced happy b-day duff
(thanks for the info drew)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

joelmcvie <*********@yahoo.com> wrote:

As of yesterday's news (PDI), Duff is still missing. But the news article was silent as to how he went missing. The two who died in their group were swept away while trying to cross a swollen creek.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ricardo G. Abad <*********@ateneo.edu> wrote:

Faye,
Maybe you can get in touch with Judith or Duff's family. I don't have their numbers. I may go to TP Fine Atrts and see if they have some info there. Duff was once head of a frat there.
Ricky

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

faye rojas <*********@yahoo.com> wrote:

Ricky,

Woke up this morning with a text message from Judith. Sad news. Please pray for Duff's soul as his body was found in an island far away from San Antonio. Interment will follow. Judith's cell number is 0917*******.

Faye

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Postscript: Duff is the third death in TA (which goes to show you just how young the company is). The first was RJ Leyran several years ago, followed by Jouel Aquino earlier this year.

I also received this SMS from our moderator Ricky Abad just this evening: "At nagparamdam sa akin, Joel. For the past three or so days, the program of Marisol which he designed kept showing up on my desk at home."

What A Relief

(I promised myself I won’t talk about work-related stuff here on The McVie Show, but….)

After days of near desperation and despair at work, feeling that you and your team can’t crack that elusive Big Idea that will propel your campaign, you finally arrive at something that feels right. And so you run with it, still unsure if it will impress the clients. But you do it anyway because—dammit!—the presentation’s this Wednesday! And finally the fateful day comes, and you wear what you think will look well in front of the bigwigs, and you even get to rehearse twice what you’ll be presenting—and still end up stammering during the second run. You face the clients—surprise, it’s an all-boys club!—and you realize, “Oh no! I have to play butch for this one.” So you do, and despite the last-minute jitters you breeze through your presentation, and when all of you are done you realize: My god, that went almost pitch-perfect!

And after that you and the whole team celebrate a job well done by treating yourselves to a hearty lunch. And suddenly every difficulty, every moment of insanity, every “Why did I ever get into this industry in the first place?” instance just melts away. And you look to your teammates and you feel the urge to say, “I love you, guys!”

Except you don’t and stuff your mouth with bawang crispy pata instead.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Nakatikim Ka Na Ba Ng Virgin?

Gibbs Cadiz is inviting you to watch plays, plays and more plays at the 2008 Virgin Labfest at the CCP. What’s more, here’s an offer from him that you mustn’t refuse: he’s giving five (5) bloggers a chance to WATCH ONE PLAY FOR FREE!

Now why should you want that? Well, there are 3 gay-themed plays in this year’s Labfest, to begin with. And the others in the line-up are pretty impressive and/or intriguing in terms of cast, playwrights and directors.

Interested? Want to know the complete line-up and schedule of plays, as well as their cast and artistic staff? Click HERE NOW!

Why the urgency? The Festival starts tomorrow, Wednesday, June 25. So, again: click HERE NOW! As in, now na!