Euphemisms

One time my friend G and I were recording a message for our friend D who’s in the U.S. (instead of sending him email, we send a voice recording). We got to talking about me and my current status.

G: So how are you two? How many months has it been? Have you had issues?

McV: Yeah, we have had issues—including sex.

G: Oh… that’s interesting!

McV: Kasi he’s friskier and I’m older… and mas kailangan ko na ng more lead-time…

(We both laugh.)

McV: …and I need more…

G: Time to recharge?

McV: …time for intermission.

G: Oh, I see! Sometimes ba they like it in succession?

McV: Ay, well, it’s easier for the young ones to have shorter gaps in between songs. Minsan nga parang gusto nila, medley!

(We both laugh.)

McV: Eh ang hirap n’un! Mas kaya ko pa siguro, mash-up!

(We both laugh again.)

McV: At saka, mas gusto ko na ngayon yung extended play, yung 12-inch…

G: (mock indignation) Oh my god, 12 inches ang gusto mo?! (laughs)

McV: …hindi! 12-inch remix, gaga! You know, you take longer to play the whole song out. It should be like The Beatles’ “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” album. Or Pink Floyd’s “The Wall.”

G: (impressed) Ooooooohhh!

McV: (suddenly realization) Ay, wait a minute! Mali ako. Double album pala ang “The Wall.” (laughs)

G: Ay, matagal-tagal yun ha! (laughs)

McV: Oo, sobra! Sobra pala.

G: Are you boasting? (laugh)

McV: No, that’s over-promise! (laughs) That’s called advertising!

(We both laugh)