Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Monday, August 01, 2011

The Age-Old Issues

Picking up D at his dorm, I asked the receptionist to buzz him in his room. Because the dorm intercom was busted, the receptionist asked the lady guard to go upstairs and knock on his door. I sat on the sofa at the reception area and played Stupid Zombies in my iPod Touch while waiting.

After a few minutes the lady guard went down and took her place again beside the reception desk. She must have felt the need to engage me in conversation, because as soon as she sat at her chair she asked me,“Bumaba na ba siya?

Ah hindi pa,” I answered.

Then she asked, “Anak mo siya?


I smiled and said, “Ah hindi po.

To be perfectly honest I just found that particular question funny. It doesn’t bother me that I’m old enough to be D’s dad. D and I never had an issue over the age difference; if we did, we wouldn’t even be together in the first place. In fact, I do take some kind of pride in the fact that despite the age difference, we can and do work things out.

What surprised me more was that I now look like a dad. Oh dear. After years of people getting surprised and telling me, “What?! You’re already 40-plus years old?!” I now have to get used to the fact that I’m now beginning to look my age.

Along with this obsession with looking young, I’m also letting go of this unhealthy desire to be borta-licious. I just don’t want to be too fat as to be unhealthy; otherwise, I’ve never sought the (un)Holy Grail of most gay men: a six-pack. When you really think about it, how much love can a six-pack give you?

I see all these tweets and Facebook messages of people obsessing to be borta. For guys who are still quite young, I guess it’s understandable. Still, to them and the rest I say, good luck! I hope you find happiness in your obsession with the physical; may your physical goals fill up your life with meaning and joy.


Mike said...

words of wisdom from the McVie!

tsaka hindi na kailangang magpaganda pa kung sa tingin ng isang tao ay maganda ka na. ching!

joelmcvie said...

@MIKE: Hindi rin naman maganda yung hindi ka na nagpapaganda para sa mahal mo sa buhay. =)

But more than that, most people want to improve their bodies in their quest to appeal more to others. It is YOUR approval of your body image that should ultimately count, NOT the approval of others.

john stanley said...

i agree.

jusko, kami ngang mag-asawa pareho ng lumulusog.

Ipe Wacka-Wacka said...

Ako rin. minsan i look my age na rin. Yung lumalabas na 25 years old na ako.


Anyway, mas goal ko ngayon is to stay healthy. I think it's a more realistic goal than to have a 6-pack.

I thank you.

* kaway-kaway sa audience.

closet case said...

ang sarcastic! LOL

joelmcvie said...

CLOSET CASE: OOPS! Hahaha. Baka dapat bumusina muna ako, ano? (Honestly nawala ka sa isipan ko when I was writing this.)

Seriously, although I can understand why one would read my last sentence as being sarcastic. But I really was being very careful with what I wrote down. Notice how I did not equate the "physical" with "being superficial"? Because while that is the common association, I also believe that it is not always the case, that it is possible to be a person of substance and still have an amount of physical vanity in them. So I'm not about to tell people to stop their pagbo-borta. (After all, kelangan nating ng mga magagandang tanawin at ka-sex, di ba?!)

But what I am only now realizing is this: unless you can freeze time, physical beauty will wane. And so the earlier I let go of attaching my happiness to my physical beauty, the more relaxed I'll be.

I also realize that D is also quite driven to have a more borta-licious body. I know that he does get a certain amount of self-confidence in improving the shape of his body. So I'm not going to discourage him from going to the gym.

closet case said...

you know how it is, when we use 'good luck' in a sentence! but i totally get your point. and you said it right - its really the 'attachment' to it. for me, the fulfilment is in the journey, in the process. & beyond the physical appreciation. people actually say i look too thin and old because of my weight loss. but i feel good about it so i dont mind them. young people pursuing looking better, improving themselves in this manner should be encouraged. the discipline needed builds character. the caution is, again, in becoming too attached to it.

Kiks said...

who wants borta? i want torta.

pang-chicken soup for the not-so-borta gay soul.

joelmcvie said...

@KIKS: What is torta? Yung malaki ang bayag? :-P

Kiks said...


binating itlog.

Anonymous said...

me, i want something physical to fill me up with something.

joelmcvie said...

@DALUMAT: Ibang issue naman yan, hahaha! Suportahan kita diyan.