Koala Lumpo

No, I did not see a crippled koala bear. This is my fourth time to go out of the country, and the first time in KL. And after seeing the airports of Hong Kong and Kuala Lumpur, I really, really dislike our airport. Ugh. The two cities have an express train that goes from the airport straight to the heart of the city. In fact, the Kuala Lumpur Sentral Station is right in front of our hotel. It was so hassle-free I felt envious—walang ganyan sa Pinas!

I arrived in KL with my officemate Jay to attend a two-day workshop sponsored by our mother network. The first thing we noticed was the daylight. We landed at the airport at 7pm, but the light outside looked more like 5pm in Manila. Woah.

We had three nights to ourselves, so on our first night Jay and I walked around the block right in front of the Station and checked out the restaurants there. Turned out the block predominantly housed Indians, so there were rows of Indian restaurants one after the other. Spice, spice, baby! Jay and I played a game of “What does this remind you of?” and we agreed that the area is reminiscent of either Cubao or Chinatown in the morning, when the streets are still clean. The next day the locals told us we wandered into the poorer side of town. Oh, that’s “poorer” for you?

The supposed poorer side of town by night...

...and by day.

The next night we went to their Chinatown, which is like Greenhills except ours is enclosed in an airconditioned mall. (Ha! Look who’s “poorer” now?) We tasted their local iced coffee (yum!) but I snubbed the many fakes being sold there.

The next night we went to a street that’s one big open-air dampa. In fairness I loved all the spicy food we had that night, especially the grilled spicy squid. Unlike most Filipinos the McVie tongue loves spicy hot, so I felt at home with the food there. I also tried frogs’ legs for the first time. It’s tastes like chicken but softer and slimier.

In fairness, the food here was a whole lot better (and cheaper) than the hotel food we had... not that I’m complaining about hotel food in general, hehehe.

We also went to a pub that was located beside a mall. Too bad that was the closest I got to the Petronas Tower.

Walking around the swankier side of KL.

An open-air ice cream bar which I bet serves ice cream bars as well.

My hand was shaking thus the motion blur. Yeah, the towers were still very far away.

I love eating at international fastfood franchises and checking out the differences. They serve this barbeque chicken on pita with lots of melted cheese, chopped tomatoes and onions, and pieces of tortilla chips! It is actually yummy!

On the train on our way to the airport for our flight back home, we saw the countryside for the first time (it was dark already when we took the train for the first time).

A train headed for the city.

The train toilet is sooo cool! It is huge, well-lit...

...and I am reduced to taking pictures of the sink!

They have their own Megamall, but I think our Megamall is bigger.

What is this flying saucer in the countryside?

It’s a 28-minute train ride from airport to the Sentral Station. I guess it’s like landing at Clark Airport and taking a non-stop train to Farmer’s Market, Cubao. Hey, if the Malaysians did it, maybe we can too.

Damn, I really dislike our old airport.

Back On Air

Flying back to Manila today, going straight to the office for work. No rest for the wicked. “The Malaysian Episode” coming soon.

Shake, Rattle, And Roll

I don’t know if I can broadcast The McVie Show while I’m in a seminar. So since I may be off-air until Thursday, I’ll just leave you with a three-part episode.

PART ONE

He was tall, young and chinito, with a naughty grin and searching eyes. He was also fully clothed, unlike all the others who were either wearing towels or in their underwear. In the semi-darkness he approached me, peered into my face and flashed his naughty smile. He fondled my biceps; I asked him up to my room.

In bed he refused to take off his clothes. He insisted that I relax; he wanted to do all the work. “Gusto ko paligayahin kita, gusto kong nagpapaligaya ng lalake,” he whispered, his grin turning naughtier. Sure, why not, who am I to argue?

His mouth was busy, his tongue lapping up greedily. He was like a kid let loose in a candy store, and I was his Tootsie Roll. Okay, Chupa-Chups. (There, happy?) He wanted to see me cum into his palm. Ooo-kay. Afterwards, he licked his palm clean, all the while looking into my eyes. What a tease.

“Gustong-gusto ko magpaligaya ng lalake,” he repeated. “Lalakeng-lalake’ng dating mo sa akin!”

Inward I smiled and rolled my eyes at the same time. It’s the facial hair, I said to myself. And I wondered what would happen if I replied with:

“Anish ka bellias, sistraks?! Teh, bigotelles lang itetchiwa-ri-waps! Chenelarz lang itetch, teh!”

Complete with high-pitch and matching kembot. I bet that would wipe that naughty grin off his face in an instant.

PART TWO

With his semi-kal haircut and svelte but defined body, he was hot as hell. Sure he was Kate Moss-thin, but his muscles were tight and hard. And he agreed to go with me to my room.

He had a happy trail that lead to an even happier end, and I was happy to make his manhood angry. When I had all of him deep in my mouth, he said, “Slowly! Slowly! Theeeere.” But I soon found out that slowing things down turned him on so much. “I’m coming! I’m coming!” he said.

So what I did was to prolong the agony. Or rather, I extended the exquisite torture. You know how painfully sensitive our cocks are right after ejaculation? I refused to stop and continued to slowly work my tongue up and down his slowly relaxing but still hard member.

“Aaaaaaaaahh! Ye—aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh! Oooooooooooohh! St—aaaaahhh! No—oooooooh!” He started to whimper in between moans and tickled laughter. His curled his body; he placed his fist in his mouth to stifle the sounds (which was music to my ears). “Put—aaaaaaaah! Angggg! Innn! Aaaaaah!” he panted between breaths.

After a few more seconds of torture I let go. He uncurled from his fetal position slowly, eyes shut but with a wide, embarrassed grin on his face. I lay down beside him and whispered, “O, buhay ka pa?” He playfully punched me on my shoulder. Then he threw an arm around me and hugged me tight.

Round two several minutes later, he was just as noisy.

PART THREE

Looking at the slight paunch in his belly and the way his pecs were undeveloped, I figured he was around my age, maybe even a little older. But his chinito eyes, smooth face and clean-cut hair made him look young. What gave away his age?

He was wild in bed. As in, wild! As in, he knew how to position himself in so many ways I had to think quickly to catch up with him. I wanted to stop him and ask, “Can we document these? How did you manage that? Where the hell did you learn that?”

I don’t know how long we were at it, but after a while I was already covered with sweat and breathing heavily. This isn’t sex; this is a triathlon!

He was considerate enough to allow me to catch my breath. Then he said, “You can piss on me if you want.” Oh, a golden showers kind of guy! Unfortunately my bladder has a mind and a schedule of its own, and refused to respond on command. So I politely declined his offer. But he wanted more. “Ano’ng trip mo? Kahit ano, sabihin mo.”

Hmmm, let’s see nga?! I wonder how far he’ll go, so I pushed it: “Wanna do bareback?”

He paused. “Ay, wag.” Okay, he passed the test.

We chatted for a while. He had a long-time lover, but they allow each other to go to the bathhouse. I asked him how old he was. He smiled and said, “Guess.” So I decided to give a ridiculously low number. “Uhm,” with matching pause-as-if-I’m-thinking, “…33?”

He looked at me and said, “O sige, puwede mo na akong i-bareback!”

We laughed and I asked him, “Hindi nga, ilang taon ka na?”

“48,” he replied, closing his eyes.

Wow! Give me hope, Johanna! Now I have something to look forward to when I approach the big 5-0.

The G-Detector Test

I met up with Cee and Dee last night at the mall. We entered this sports store, looking for a particular brand of footwear for Cee; upon entering, we immediately split up to cover more areas faster. I was so focused on searching for that brand (it’s not widely distributed here) that it took several minutes before I recognized what was playing full blast on the store’s PA system:

* * * * *

I’ve been warning you for months to clean up your act.
You’ve be late, you’ve been mean, giving all kinds of bullshit flack.

That’s a lie! That’s a lie! It’s just I haven’t been feeling that well.

* * * * *

It dawned on me: “Good lord, it’s the soundtrack of Dreamgirls!”

I rushed to look for Cee and Dee. Suddenly I found them both in one section of the store, as if we converged on purpose. Dee was even mouthing the words of the song. All three of us had the same expression of recognition on our faces: They’re playing “It’s All Over” in, of all places, a sports store! We all laughed out loud at the incongruity.

* * * * *

Stay out of this, Lorrell! This is between Deena and me.

Yeah? Well, it’s between me too.
I’m as much a part of this group as anybody else and I’m tired.
Effie, I’m tired of all the problems you’re making us.

* * * * *

“Naku, hindi bakla yung nag-play nito! Straight na straight!” I declared.

“At hindi lang basta-basta kung anong kanta sa soundtrack, yung argument scene pa!” laughed Cee.

I theorized that they played that song on purpose just to detect who among the customers are gay. Had they played “Listen” or “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going”, some straight guys may be familiar with them because those songs are popular enough. But the diva-tastic duel between Jennifer Hudson versus Beyonce Knowles, Jaime Foxx, Anika Nonie Rose and the rest? Only true gay fans would be familiar with the song—or even have the lyrics memorized!

It’s a form of Gay Detector Test. If upon reading the italicized lines from the lyrics above you were able to identify which song it was before reading my next paragraph, you’re gay.

Of course, any test involving song lyrics should take in to consideration the era in which the song became popular—the older the song, the more likely you’ll just detect old gay folks. The young gay set will most likely be oblivious to the songs of such older gay icons like Judy Garland, Liza Minelli, Cher in her prehistoric pre-“Believe” days (but she still looks the same then and now), and even—gasp!—Madonna in her “Burning Up” days.

Wonder just how gay (or maybe how old) you are? See if you can identify the title and performers of the songs from the following lyrics:

[1] Work, turn to the left
Work, now turn to the right
Work, sashay shante!

[2] Meeting Mr. Right, the man of my dreams,
The one who shows me true love (or at least it seems).
With brown cocoa skin and curly black hair,
It’s just the way he looks at me, that gentle loving stare.

[3] So when the night falls
My lonely heart calls

[4] God bless Mother Nature, she’s a single woman too.
She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do.

[5] You can dance, you can jive,
Having the time of your life!

[6] It’s one life and there’s no return and no deposit.
One life, so it’s time to open up your closet!

[7] Some day I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me.

[8] But after all is said and done,
You’re going to be the lonely one, oh!

[9] I should have changed my stupid lock,
I should have made you leave your key.

[10] I’m coming out!
I want the world to know,
Got to let it show.

BONUS:

[11] Smiling, dancing, everything is free—
All you need is positivity!

[12] ‘Cause if you run your mouth and brag
about this secret rendezvous—
I will hunt you down.

*(NOTE: This G-Detector Test is inaccurate, inconclusive, and in the spirit of fun.)

You Only Got 4 Minutes To Watch The Video

Okay, so the lyrics become secondary to the visuals. For me, the sheer chutzpah performance of Madonna and Justin Timberlake saves this video—and makes the song listenable. (Or should I say watchable?) The energy of the two’s performance more than surpasses the energy of the song. Which makes Madonna truly an artist of the music video era.

(Okay, so your four minutes are up. Warner Brothers had YouTube pull it out. Awww.)



Like the song, the video isn’t groundbreaking. At least the two were successful in making it appear like they’re enjoying themselves.

(Thanks to Misterhubs for the Tweet.)

Ploning The Movie

I’ve ragged on here in The McVie Show about how indie films have this handheld, haphazard look that’s often due to a lack of budget (ergo, less materials and equipment to work on). However, here’s an indie film that refuses to be lumped into the term “indie film”.


The producers of Ploning want it to be called an “independently produced” film. Film, mind you, not digital tape. As in, 35mm film was used to shoot this movie. And how did they do that? One of the film’s producers—and incidentally the star of the movie—is none other than Judy Ann Santos. And while this is the first film venture of the group Panoramanila, the folks behind this fledgling group aren’t newbies to showbiz. In fact, I personally know three of them, and they’ve worked for several years for a major network and commercial film company. In fact, what got me really interested is this portion of their company vision: “We hope to do this by marrying the creative spirit of independent filmmaking and the sound business structure of commercial cinema….”

That’s one thing I’ve always wanted to see, a film produced outside the studio system yet has the production qualities of a studio-produced film. Then it’s not a matter of “we don’t have the budget for that kind of equipment”. What will make these independently produced films different from their studio counterparts will be the quality of content. I dearly hope that these independent films succeed because the more people flock to them, the less reason for studios to hold on to their “it-must-be-a-blockbuster-or-not-at-all” mentality. And maybe we’ll see another resurgence of quality Philippine movies.

Meanwhile there’s Ploning. And while the official trailer is intriguing, it also reminds me of an earlier film—grand vistas, a powerful love, native music. Hello, Batanes. But that one had a Ken Zhu “wait-is-he-from-F4-fame?!” surprise factor. This one has Juday and Crispin Pineda and Mylene Dizon and really great actors and… a lot of looking out into the sea. Thank god the synopsis reveals a more active plotline. Well, most movie trailers are just supposed to intrigue and bait, right? (Unlike commercial movie trailers that often show all the best parts in one go.)

I’m really intrigued and interested to see what the marriage “of the creative spirit of independent filmmaking and the sound business structure of commercial cinema” will spawn. I hope it succeeds, and other independent filmmakers follow suit. Then we can say that Ploning is truly worth cloning. (Pa-thump-tump!)

Here’s the official trailer:



For more info, log on to the official website.

April 1

While most people go through April 1 playing pranks and making fools of others, the McVies gather to remember our late father. Four years ago he decided to pull the ultimate prank and quietly had a fatal heart attack while seated in our living room sofa. My mom thought he just fell asleep. When I called my boss to tell her I wasn’t coming to work that day, I had to preface my phone call with, “This isn’t an April Fool’s joke, ma’am, promise.”

It’s supposed to be the height of summer, and as I’m typing this it’s pouring cats and dogs outside. I still have to rush home to make it to a short prayer and dinner.

Daddy, you really know how to pull a prank of peculiar proportions.

Check out my April 08, 2004 entry here. (You will need to scroll down to the very end, then read upwards.)

* * * * *

10:43pm

P.S. – I actually made in time despite the heavy traffic. And my sister who’s in Singapore was with us oncam via Skype, so we were all complete once again. Thanks, Daddy.