Mark Lapid Goes Bananas!

And you will too. First, watch the video clip. Go ahead, it’s only 11 seconds long.



Done? Good. You can wipe off the blood dripping from your nose now.

That is the kind of performance that deserves to be nominated for an Oscar. Because who wouldn’t want to see that clip shown during awards night? It’s that impeccable timing and the sheer sincerity of the performance that astounds people to ask, “How did he do that? How could he do that?” It’s a once-in-a-lifetime tour de force that deserves to be nominated for Best Performance by an Actor Acknowledging He’s a Fruit. His stiffest competitors in this category are the notorious pajama twins, B1 and B2.

(Of course this raises the stakes for Mark to win in this category; can you imagine losing to a giant fruit in sleepwear? At least he’ll look better than the two on the red carpet.)

And the script is astounding. One wonders what the character of Dick Israel said to merit that kind of outburst: “You’re nothing but a second-rate, trying hard banana!”? “Walang saging! Walang saging! Ang saging ay nasa puso!”? “Akala mo lang wala kang saging, pero meron! Meron! Meron!”? Whatever the line was, one thing is certain: comparing your enemy to a banana can certainly make him go bananas. Lakatan? Latondan? Señorita? Cavendish? Your enemy will be wondering for hours.

Go ahead, watch the clip again. Better yet, watch the whole movie. And bring along some Lapid’s Chicharon for baon.