Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Presenting “TransGenders: More Than Meets The Eyeliner”

The KemBots, a new breed of sentient machines tasked with just one mission: to propagate beauty and sass throughout the universe!

The KuluBots, their mortal enemy, who are out to spread stress, worry and wrinkles to all sentient creatures who need at least SPF-15 level of protection.

The BeBots, a friendly ally to the KemBots, these sentient machines are also know as “fag hags.”

The Bi-Bots, a group of sentient machines that have their wires crossed somewhat; they swing from KemBot to KuluBot depending on the situation. In other words, palyado.

The CallBots, a breed of machines designed to entice the KemBots to ride them—for a fee. They are led by MegaDaks, a ten-wheeler notorious for filling up the whole length of Dakota-Harrison streets with the length of his, uhm, exhaust pipe. (After you go through his pipe—or his pipe goes through you—you’ll understand why it’s “exhausting.”)

The Vi-and-Bots, old-timer machines who remember the time when transistors were used, tubes powered television sets, and Vilma Santos and Edgar Mortiz were a love-team instead of a governor with a lot of beef and an executive producer of Goin’ Bulilit.

The Motocross Dressers, a specialized form of two-wheeled machines that transform into big sexy robots with huge hooters and a penchant for lip-synching. Currently they have the soundtrack of “Dreamgirls” on heavy rotation in their CD/MP3 players.

The Emoticons, they’re not really machines. They’re small pieces “of specialized ASCII art (usually two to five characters, always on a single line) used in text messages as informal markup to indicate emotions and attitudes that would be conveyed by body language in face-to-face communications. They are intended to be relatively simple to type, easy to recognize, and most commonly represent stylized facial expressions.” (from Wikipedia)

The Revicons, they’re multi-vitamins. (Product placement! Just like in the movie!)

* * * * *

Lecheng internet connection sa office namin! Since Monday pa siya down. Sana okey na siya today.


Mikey said...

This had me in stitches! So funny talaga, Joel! Hahahaha!

Leigh said...



John Halcyon von Rothschild said...

hahaha. where can i meet megadaks? :P

Keitaro Hanazawa said...

Sa Revicons na lang ako, medyo safe.

Jedd said...

Still laughing at MegaDaks! Hahhaa! I can imagine the Kembots would transform into beauty weapons.. you got EyeLash, Blowdry, HotIron, Compact. Asteeegg!

daniel palma tayona said...


joelmcvie said...

JEDD: Mismo! I'm still wondering what Curlash and Tweezer would look like.

gibbs cadiz said...

hang galeng! kaw lang talaga makakaisip ng ganito, brava! :)

james said...

are we considering AUTOBAYOTS here? LOL :-)

Phoenix said...

@ james: oo nga! sir mcvie, isali mo sa follow-up = )

@ mcvie: talagang kailangan daw bang i-plug yung revicon ; )

Marcus: Bading Down Under said...

OMG. This is soooo funny. I never thought I could laugh this hard.

KemBots??? Bwahahaha! I can relate!

Marcus: Bading Down Under said...

Just a question, Joel.

What will your definition of a BatiBot - and I'm not referring to the kids' show.


joelmcvie said...

MARCUS: BatiBots are the harbingers of peace between the KemBots, the KuluBots and the CallBots. They always tell the warring 'bots, "Hoy! Magbati na nga kayo!" Unfortunately, no one really listens to them much.