When It Rains

It gets really wet.

* * * * *

All my life no one has ever courted me or really pursued me in a romantic way. So for the longest time I only had me to tell myself that I’m a wonderful guy. It feels different when someone else tells me that.

* * * * *

The last time someone sincerely told me something of a similar sentiment was three years ago. Now I’m getting it from two different guys, and a third one looks like he’s seriously going to enter into the fray. Plus there are two others whom I suspect will want to if only they’re not attached right now.

In the words of Depeche Mode: I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors but I think that God’s got a sick sense of humor. And when I die, I expect to find Him laughing. Dying is easy, comedy is hard; I like it hard. I suspect when I’m done with the easy part, I’d find Him playing jokes on me even in the afterlife.

Sigh.

Be careful what you stopped wishing for, you just might get more than you bargained for.

* * * * *

To make matters worse: there’s this guy who’s really my type, cute Chinese chinito, smart and creative. I met him early this year and we’ve been in touch on-and-off all this time. I swear it’s like we live parallel lives: he’s also into advertising, albeit in art while I’m in copy; he’s about my height; we share the same zodiac sign; we love the same kinds of movies and TV shows; we have a better-than-average grasp of the English language; and we also looove food—just yesterday he told me he was craving for a donut just as I was biting into one. Of course there are also some snags: we’re both top (not that big a snag, but a snag nonetheless) and we’ve not met each other in person. And he’s in Indonesia. And he’s leaving for Germany within the year. For good. Now that’s a gigantic snag.

Yesterday while we were chatting over YM, he was bemoaning the fact that he did not believe in long-distance relationships (an attitude I also share with him). That night before going to sleep I thought that meeting him seemed like another cosmic taunt: “Nyah! Nyah! Nya-nya-nyah! You’re two peas in a pod who cannot be together!” But I also realized that I have a choice: I can either think of it as an unhappy case of right-guy-but-wrong-country-and-wrong-timing, or I can think of it as an ain’t-I-lucky-I-met-someone-like-you-even-if-only-online kind of situation. And I choose the latter.

* * * * *

The rainy season is now here. Halleluiah. Careful now, it’s slippery when wet.