When someone says to you, “I love you but I don’t expect anything in return. I just wanted you to know that,” look him straight in the eye, or clear your throat (if it’s over the phone), or crack your fingers (in case it was via email or SMS), and say the following:
“Bullshit.”
Okay, okay, maybe not that harsh. You could say, “Owwws?” or “C’mon, really?!” or “C’mon, shi-yowww meh! Hu-where’s da—” oops! Sorry, hehehe. (Got carried away with Ate Vi there.) But you get what I mean.
Because if someone loves you but genuinely doesn’t expect you to love them back in return, then that person will shut the hell up and, like Nike, just do it. Action speaks louder than words.
(The exception, of course, is if he has a proven track record of unselfish giving and wanton generosity that rivals the late Mother Teresa. In which case, dump him—he’s due for sainthood, and the Lord’s just itching to get him up there with His team.)
But those who bother to go out of their way to say “I don’t expect anything in return” are expecting something, all right: a reaction from you. They are forcing you to acknowledge their feelings. Because then you’re forced to think about it and make a decision: either you reciprocate or you put your foot down and say, “Sorry, no.” Either way, they get an answer and can move on.
However, there is a third option: you can opt to not say anything at all. By keeping things hanging, you prolong his agony while enjoying the attention he’s giving you.
13 comments:
I actually loved someone this way, and yes, he knew it and he also knew that i wasnt expecting anything. probably because i already knew it wasnt going to amount to anything since he was a quarter of a jerk (quarter lang, compared to a complete jerk that i've become hehehehe). at that time, i just began to realize it was going to hurt me more if I expected and continued seeing him--best recourse is to love him from a distance. i realized loving someone is a gift to myself, not to him. it affirmed me and made me happy, regardless of his reaction (actually mabuti pa ngang di mo nakikita reaction nya para di nasisira ang love) He was my first love. Thirteen years ago.
next time i saw him, i was around 23, in malate and i was all buffed then (take that bitch!) and i was flirting like hell with someone--who turns out to be his friend. Ang saya ng love di ba?
hmmm...i sense a deeper reason for this post hahahahaha
@MRAUNCH: I'll only believe that someone loves without expecting anything in return if she's a Mother Teresa--someone with a proven track record at selfless love. Otherwise, everyone is suspect.
Oh, and as for your last sentence: "Ang saya-saya, noh?!" Ahahahaha!
@E: Sense it you did, young padawan learner. Murky the connections. Focus! Concentrate, feel the Force.
Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate... leads to sufffffffering.
Often as not, words fail us so I totally subscribe to your point of view.
Then again, I catch myself doing it as well with Eric sometimes (part and parcel of being a bit neurotic and insecure).
Oh the enigma of it all..and the drama. c",)
Belated Anniversary McVie - I wish you more posts to come.
I liked the third option. =)
since I saw that clip of Ate i've been humming that song.. its so infectious. =)
tired na of hearing promises...
Oi, share ko lang kanina sa wowowee, i heard valerie c sing "Where's the party". surprised talaga ako.
@MING: Hmmm! Mahanap nga sa YouTube. Pero feeling ko wala nang tatalo pa kay Ate Vi. Classic na yun.
It's the "Hu-where's da par-tay?" For All Seasons!
Because if someone loves you but genuinely doesn’t expect you to love them back in return, then that person will shut the hell up and, like Nike, just do it. Action speaks louder than words.
That's why when I fall in love, I don't speak about it. I just do what needs to be done.
Bahala na if I get something in return. If it won't work, I'd move on. Walang time para maging bitter. After all, hindi naman ako nagsalita eh.
san galing, friend? anong nangyari sa bath house?
@YOUR ROYAL RYENESS: Bwhahahahahaha! Friend, hindi lahat ng humihingi ng aking advise ay hada sa bathhouse. Meron din mga hada sa gym, hada sa... ay! Pero hindi pala ito hada. Hahahaha! May nagtanong lang sa akin. Tapos natuwa naman ako sa sagot ko. (Tang'na, natuwa daw o! Hehehe.)
"That's why when I fall in love, I don't speak about it. I just do what needs to be done."
... hmmm, i simply and quietly stalk. i gather information and research on that person. and when it comes for that time i meet that individual face-to-face, that's when my brain gathers everything i've found out about the person in one fell swoop and see if it'd jive what's in front of me. medyo methodical, but it works. it spares me from the drama blah-blah-blah.
i call that "the meryl streep method" of falling for someone.
"...to not say anything at all. By keeping things hanging, you prolong his agony ..." - LOL! I hate you, ayaw ko ng ganito. Hahaha. I always ask the person if I have a chance or not ... I want an answer NOW! Hehehehe =)
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