I like to think that I’m a fairly patient and understanding person, but if there’s one thing that still gets my goat, it’s people who fish for compliments so that they can feel better. At first it’s not that bothersome, because let’s face it, we all have our insecurities. And though they say that our self-esteem should be determined by us and not by what others say, the reality is that what others think of us also matters a lot. But the “I-am-telling-you-how-woeful-I-am-because-even-though-I’m-not-saying-it-out-loud-it-would-really-really-make–me-feel-better-if-you-assure-me-I’m-not-that-woeful” attitude is especially more annoying if I’ve already pinpointed that out to them and they still insist on foisting it on to me.
In the end, what others (particularly the people we deem important) think of us does matter, but the weightier one is what you think of yourself. And while you do need other people to make you feel good about yourself, people won’t give that to you if they sense that you don’t feel good about yourself. If you feel good about yourself, others will respond to that in kind.
And since the band Journey is making a comeback (thanks in part to The Sopranos, Glee and Arnel Pineda), here is a part of their song whose title is also the title of this episode:
“Lookin’ back with no regrets,
To forgive is to forget,
I want a little piece of mind to turn to.
Be good to yourself when nobody else will—
Oh, be good to yourself!
You're walkin’ a highwire, caught in a crossfire—
Oh, be good to yourself!”
9 comments:
i was planning on making a post about self-esteem but i couldn't pull it off as much as the great mcvie would :-p mwahaha
Ayan na naman ang singularity mo.
sobrang tinamaan ako dito mcvie.
ouch. medyo tinamaan rin ako dito. hehe but you have a very good pont. if i could only compliment myself without sounding so self-righteous (and make it feel like someone else said it), i'd be the happiest guy in the world.
it was nice meeting you last night. :D i don't know if you remember me but i was the late comer with the bloodshot eyes.
@CB: Yes I remember you. =)
You can easily compliment yourself in any way or form, just be truthful to yourself and have a sense of perspective regarding your achievement. Oh, and the trick to not sounding self-righteous? Don't compliment yourself out loud in front of others, hehehe.
sounds good! :D haha wag lang ako papahuli sa mga kasambahay. next thing you know, sa mental na ako nagb-blog. haha
slightly unrelated: i read somewhere (it was a book full of useful lessons from everyday people) that any and all compliments can be handled by saying "thank you," although it helps if u had a nice southern accent to go with it.
@CB: Hahaha, a southern accent always sounds mighty kind of you, mighty kind. =)
kawadjan told me he met you in bed so i decided to check your site out.
cool.
on this post, don't you think that people who fish for compliments are more often than not unaware that they are doing so?
@KIEL: Thanks for taking the time to check out my blog. =)
I think that people who fish know, at some level, that what they are doing is aimed at getting a compliment; otherwise, they wouldn't continue to do so.
What they may be unaware of, or they're in some form of denial, is their "selfish motive" in getting compliments; after all, most people do not want to see themselves as selfish.
Is this "selfish" motive a "bad" motive? I don't think so; in fact, I prefer not to cast judgment on their motive. They need to do it so that they can feel good about themselves--a motive that is quite universal.
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