Another Letter From, And To, Jack

Hi Joel,

Sometimes I really do lose hope in life itself with what currently is happening to me. Add to that friends who have shut me out of their lives and refused my friendship. But you see, even though I want to hate everything else in this world and smash my fist to anything I can see, I just can't. Somehow there's that something in me that keeps hope alive even though I'm already pretty much screwed up. You know what I'm saying? Well, I don't even know myself.

And here I am staying home at a Friday night. Pathetic me. :/

~Jack

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Dear Jack,

It seems to me that you’re blowing your insecurities and fears out of proportions, which is quite understandable, given that they are insecurities and fears. It’s very difficult to put them in perspective, because they reside in the irrational, not the rational. 

Trust me, Jack, it gets better. (Uhm, apologies for appropriating the anti-bullying campaign line.)

It’s good that you still have hope. And I really think you need to snap out of that “I'm screwed up” image of yourself; it’s your choice whether to be screwed up or not. We cannot be perfect, but we can always strive to improve ourselves.

Jack, you need to distinguish the important difference between “being yourself” and “improving yourself.” You need to know yourself more, choose what you value and what you stand for, and learn to be comfortable with your choices. But at the same time, you must be humble enough to recognize that: [1] You can and will make mistakes; [2] Other people (often they’re the ones who really care about you) usually are the ones who can point out certain flaws of yours that you may not see yourself; [3] If you will improve yourself, it’s because you owe to to yourself, as well as to your loved ones.

So relax. Life is already hard as it is, and people will make things harder on you; don’t join them by being so hard on yourself.

So stop with the “pathetic me” lines, too. (Unless it’s just a “paawa” line; in which case, there's nothing more off-putting than “pretend-pathetic.”) =)

joel