Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Friday, September 16, 2011

Body Image

I was struck by Corporate Closet’s latest blog entry (click on the link here) on his battle against age. I loved the honesty of his post, and in keeping with that honesty, I will now make a clarification regarding what he wrote about me.

He wrote, “i contrast myself with fellowfab & age-range mcvie who recently posted something about age and accepting himself and his body as it is. there is some resignation, perhaps, in the tone. but it is really more of acceptance and even joy in the realization.”

In my particular case, accepting my age and body started primarily with resignation, AHAHAHA! I think this is really needed, that rather rude wake-up call. It’s easier to wake up to reality if you are bitten by it.

Acceptance and, one hopes, joy will follow. Acceptance can take a long time to come, especially if one isn’t ready to embrace the facts seen in front of the mirror. Never underestimate the power of denial, LOL.

Joy happens last. In my case, that joy is still quite elusive; what I have is more like a quick pat on the back rather than a full-blown embrace. I suspect there are people who accept things but never reach that joyful state. I really don’t get it why it takes quite a while for some people (including yours truly) to be contented with the joys they have; call it the joyful mystery.

This change in attitude didn’t happen overnight, and there still are times when I’d slip back into my former attitude of wanting a perfect magazine-cover-ready body. There are days when I am envious of CC and his discipline. There are days when it’s easier for me to gloss over my reflection in the mirror. Then there are days when focusing on my one-pack abdominal doesn’t bother me at all; it’s like the “as is where is” acting style as per Eugene Domingo.

But I guess CC’s point was more the “joy in the realization,” and with that, he is right. I may not always be happy with what I see in front of the mirror, but I choose not to let my body image, whether it’s to impress others or to satisfy myself, determine my over-all contentment.

And with that, I am happy.


House of Queens said...

I've always told myself that when I'm 50 - I want to look like Anderson Cooper. Apparently - he is just 6 years older than me and he is not yet 50. In any case - I doubt that his looks will dramatically deteriorate in the next six years.

When I'm 70 - I want to be like Tim Gunn. I didn't check how old he is - but I think he's a man who looks like he's too young to be 70.

Right now - I'm 38. People think I'm younger than 38. It's not because I strive to look young. I have not had any botox injections. I'm Asian - so I get the benefit of the Dorian Gray effect. At 30 - we stop aging. We have two decades of looking youthful. Then we turn 50 and its downhill from there.

XS. I don't know CC or you personally so what I will say next will sound judgmental. I think CC's comment about you is a backhanded compliment. But you said you were being honest - so I thought that the comments would have to be very honest as well.

Fickle Cattle said...

Considering that you managed to snag a guy half your age who loves you, you're not doing too bad Joel. :-)

Fickle Cattle

joelmcvie said...

@HOQ: Yes, I do know CC more, and I can fairly say that regardless of whether he meant it as a backhanded compliment or not, the more important thing is for him to get his point across. We Fabcasters are used to each other's unflinchingly brutal assessments, questions, and even side (or snide) comments. But often we don't take things personally; we know there's a difference between being bitchy and being honest. The line separating the two may be thin, but there is a line nonetheless. =)

joelmcvie said...

@FC: Considering that I managed to snag a guy half my age and who's only now discovering the power of a body beautiful, and who has become quite conscious of his body, I'd say we're in the same boat. BWHAHAHAHAHA!

I kid. Seriously. =)