Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Corpus Christi

(WARNING: Those who are easily offended by jokes on anything religious should skip the following. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

Have you ever wondered what if Christ was fat?

One evening I met up with several bloggers for an after dinner chitchat at Greenbelt 3. We were bouncing from topic to topic, with much giggling and guffawing, when out of the blue I mentioned that, as a kid, I noticed how certain depictions of Christ on the cross portray Him as a well-toned, muscular hunk (ignore the blood stains and the piercing, of course). In furnezz, hunkalicious si Lord!

The jokes came fast and furious.

“Naku, kahit anong klaseng scourging sa kanya, walang epekto—balat kalabaw kasi! Hahaha!”

“Imagine mo, after ipinako Siya sa krus, when the Roman soldiers were about to lift Him and the cross to a vertical position—hindi nila kinerri! Kaya sabi nila, ‘Horizontal na lang!’ Hahaha!”

“If Christ was fat, then our sign of the cross would be very, very wide! Hahaha!”

“During communion, when the priest says, ‘Body of Christ’, you say, ‘Heavy!’ Hahaha!”

A fat Christ would mean changing the term to read: “Only bigatin Son”.


palma tayona said...

hmmm, interesting. as an artist, i've already drawn a fat Christ and i've kept it in my own collection. it's my being a catholic that kept me from displaying it.

mraunch said...

uhm..somebody had already asked me if i'd do Jesus.

i think it's just that we've already put him in a sacred position that makes the whole thought...iffy. pero sabi nga ni mary magdalene as told to andrew lloyd: "he's just a man...and i've had so many men before in very many ways...he's just one more"

joelmcvie said...

@MRAUNCH: To quote Gibbs: "You're so democratic!" =)

Anonymous said...

That was funny..c",) Buti na lang, theoretical Buddhist na ako.

Mr. Schizophrenic said...

Hmm, I hope you or anyone who'll be reading this comment/question of mine won't be offended. If Jesus Christ was killed in an electric chair, electric chair din ba ang makikita sa taas ng mga simbahan?

Quentin X said...

I love carpenters, crucified or not.