A chat over instant messaging between my friend K and I. K’s relationship just ended in an intense and painful way. We discussed that at length first, and then the topic shifted.
* * * * *
K: Joel, i’m turning 30 next year and talagang naisip ko
K: OMG, ilang heatbreak ang meron sa dekadang iyon?
K: ayoko na
K: as iN!!!
K: i can’t imagine repeating the heartaches i had this decade in the next
mcvie: hahahahahha
mcvie: PASALAMAT KA may heart kang na-be-break
mcvie: ako yata, hanggang pa-tulong-tulong na lang sa ibang tao eh
K: you have a heart
mcvie: i think i'll just become the Mother Teresa of the Lovelorn
mcvie: hahahahahahaha
mcvie: “Come to me, all ye who are loveless and hopeless!”
K: funny thing is, oo nga no
K: you’re out there naman
K: hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
K: nakakapagtaka nga naman
K: pero alam mo, naniniwala ako at ito yung hope na alam mong hindi lang optimism, na merong magmamahal at meron kang mamahalin
K: it can be a very rewarding experience.
mcvie: i also think so
mcvie: pero more and more parang it's beginning to look like
mcvie: hindi siya yung "jowa" in the traditional sense
mcvie: baka nga MGA different guys eh
mcvie: AAAAYYYY! orgy?! hahahaha
mcvie: hay naku, ewan ko ba kung kelan ko siya (o sila) mami-meet
mcvie: bahala na
mcvie: basta, live life na lang!
K: iba ka!!!
mcvie: AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
K: minsan ba , when you’re about to sleep, tinatanong mo yan kay God?
mcvie: nope
mcvie: i've stopped asking God about my lovelife
mcvie: i feel it's something i shouldn't even bother Him with
mcvie: that there are more important, bigger issues to address Him
mcvie: and that a lovelife is something that is, in the larger scheme of things, a little bit of a selfish interest :-D
mcvie: i feel elevating it to God is too much
mcvie: parang dapat hanggang guardian angel-level lang
mcvie: hahahahahaha!
mcvie: you won't wanna bother the CEO or the Owner of the Company with trivial matters, right?
mcvie: hahahahahaha
K: hahahahaa
K: ako i will
K: hahahhaaa
mcvie: iba ako mag-isip, ano?
K: yeah
mcvie: well, siguro mas personal yung relationship mo with God
mcvie: so you can go up to Him and "bother" Him about that :-D
K: i tell him, “God why?”
K: i fight with him
K: i make deals
K: i bargain, and barter
K: hahahaha
mcvie: hahaha
mcvie: i wouldn't wanna do those things with Him
mcvie: takot ko lang, hahaha
K: hahahaa
K: God is my friend
K: hahahahaa
K: BFF ko siya
mcvie: well then there you go :-)
mcvie: ako, He's my CEO
mcvie: hahahaha
K: hahahahahaa
2 comments:
Oo nga ano. As usual nakanti naman ni mcvie ang tubig ng poso ng balon ng malalim kong aquifer.
Ano nga ba ang relationship ko kay God. Sya ba ay BFF ko? CEO ba sya ng buhay ko?
I think that, like most other people, God is my surrender. When nothing seems to make sense anymore and however hard I try I can't quite get things right, I surrender. I envy people who can turn to God for the smallest of reasons. I way too much pride to tell Him hindi ko na kaya, sya na ang bahala. which is bad, of course. Pero ganun talaga ako, and I think he'll understand. Hindi naman siguro nya mamasamain na paminsan-minsa ko lang syang kalampagin. I think he appreciates it na low-maintenance ako.
Someone told me that talking to God is like talking to yourself. Nabigla ako dun. That means God will only be as wise as you can make him to be? Ay, hindi magandang idea yun, so riniject ko kaagad.
Today, I need God more than ever. I mean today, as in this very day, as in now na before I sleep. Because if God doesn't come to me in my sleep, life will be utterly miserable for this one snot-nosed kid who tried to power-trip at my expense. I will not forget the insult, and he will not forgiven. Ever.
So yes, God is my surrender. Si God na ang bahala sa mga taong may attitude problem hahaha. Pero pag inattitude pa din ako ng inattitude magpatawaran na kami. Because I will make it my problem na talaga, so help me God. Magpapakabitch lang po ako ng mga two months siguro, tapos back to good boy na uli. Two months lang po. Please?
Ganyan ang kahihinatnan kapag talking to God is like talking to yourself.
i always believe that there is someone(/s)meant for me but I wouldn't bother God.
He already gave me Love and Life. It's our lone task to connect this two words.
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