Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Monday, August 27, 2007

Safe Distance

I am amazed and in awe at folks who continue to take chances on love. Having a crush is easy, and falling in love is almost second nature to most people. But to risk one’s heart for a chance to experience full-scale l’amour?

I’ve known rejection all my life; say “hi” to Rejection, my Familiar. From the time my parents favored my older brother because he was the better student—academically and more—to when I’d fall for my male classmates who wouldn’t even so much as glance my way, I always felt I was not good enough, good-looking enough, smart enough, sporty enough, enough is enough, I’ve had it, no more tears. But instead of snapping out of feeling sorry for myself, I instead went on an escape route. Stay away. Keep a safe distance.

And for a while it worked. Heck, what am I saying? For the longest time it has been my comfort zone. No man is an island? I have a fucking continent all to myself. Just family members and some friends populate that continent. Once in a while there are transient visitors. But so far the local populace has taken none of them in.

But am I happy? Sometimes I really wonder. It’s very difficult to feel happy when the whole world is conspiring against you: people left and right are hooking up, romance remains a perennial staple in popular media and entertainment, and even the internet is littered with one message: You. Have. To. Be. With. Someone. Or. Else. You. Are. Incomplete.

I agree that having someone with your though thick and thin is a treasure not all people are fortunate to experience. But where does it say that it has to be a partner? And does it have to be just one? Can the different functions of a “soul mate” (I use that phrase for lack of a better term) be spread out over several people—say, friends and family? And what about those people who are “unfortunate” enough to not meet their “soul mate”? Are they “lesser” persons then?

The world is getting smaller. And this continent cannot just rely on tourists forever. I wonder how the first immigrants will be like?

4 comments:

Pao Pielago said...

Channeling Brando, the hunky waiter: "more booze please..."

hmm...could it probably be that you have been keeping a safe distance for so long a time that the vision of someone giving his all to find that true, long-lasting love is so trivial to you?

just a thought there. hindi naman ito mid-life crisis. being happy with someone is always good, but you are right in saying that it should not necessarily be just one. that's why family and friends are there. so until you find that someone, cherish the happiness with everyone. :)

joelmcvie said...

PAO: Maybe "trivial" is not the word for it. After all, can't the love of family and friends be also true and long-lasting? I agree with you that we should cherish the happiness that everyone in our lives brings. And if a particular someone comes along that becomes your partner, then he's an additional gift from the many blessings you already have.

cant_u_read said...

you are blessed, joel. you are blessed.

joelmcvie said...

Thank you, Rye. Thank you. :-)