My friend P is a 23-year old art director who is seeing a 38-year old married man with kids (the guy’s separated from his wife).
One day P was bemoaning about the fight he had with his boyfriend. Long story short: P gets mad at BF for canceling a date, even with a valid reason (BF was sick). After several days, P realizes his mistake and asks forgiveness from BF. But BF is out of town for work, and he’s not replying to P’s text messages. One of BF’s last SMSs read: “Now’s not a good time to talk.”
P was understandably distraught: “He’s not replying! I can’t stand this!”
Ah, youth! I thought. Out loud I said: “I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s not replying because he’s still angry at you for being selfish and unfair to him.”
P: “Okay, okay, I get that, it’s my fault na! But what can I do?”
Me: “Nothing. You just have to let him calm down first.”
P: “But I’m going crazy na! What can I do?”
Me: “Nothing. Just wait.”
P: “But that’s so difficult!”
Me: “Sorry, no choice. You just gotta learn how to wait. If you can’t wait, maybe you’re not ready to even be in a relationship.”
P looked at me like I was a Martian or something. But in fairness he didn’t argue further. Later on, we were waiting for the elevator going down to the basement parking when light finally dawned on him.
P: “Friend, I just realized my behavior sucked these past three days. I was so kulit, texting him the whole time.”
Me: “See? You just have to be patient. For all you know he just doesn’t want to call you yet because he thinks you’re not calm enough and that call might just degenerate into another argument.”
The elevator door opened and we stepped in.
P: “But friend! It’s so difficult to wait! I’ll go crazy just waiting!”
Me: “Find some constructive distraction. Update your blog. Help your mom in one of her projects. Take up crocheting. Paint your house. Go swimming! Go CB! Something!”
P huffed. “So you’re saying I should forget him first.”
Me: “I’m saying you shouldn’t focus too much on him. That’s not healthy for you nor for him either.”
The bell rang as the elevator halted at my floor.
Me: “The problem is that you’ve made him the center of your world. He’s like this huge, massive product logo placed at the center of your print ad, as mandated by client.”
The doors opened.
Me: “You’re the art director. Put some balance in the layout!”
And I winked goodbye at P as I stepped out of the elevator and headed for my car.
10 comments:
susmaryosep! a 23-year old lover for a 38-year old man. smacks so much of an ass-biting disaster.
as saying goes..." patience is a virtue.."
Wow that was like a scene from a movie. P's situation also reminds me of QAF Season 1 - Michael and David (the chiropractor). I was soo affected that they broke up at the start of Season 2 that im still grieving for them. haha
@PALMA: Excuse me! A "38-year old married but separated man" with kids!
@DATS: And patience is a virgin.
@ALEXI: That's why I like discussing things with P. He gets so animated and hyper and he says all these movie-like lines. So I end up trying to match his lines with my own quotable quotes. Unfortunately wala pa kaming pang-Sharon Cuneta movie dialogue. And I don't think anyone can top the "You're nothing but a second-rate, trying-hard copycat!" classic.
Can I just say that he never married so technically, he is single, with a kid.
Channeling Rihanna...
"I gotta check in a rehab, baby you're my disease..."
@P: Oh! I stand corrected. =)
Friend, find some constructive distraction. Go and play Patapon!
ay, another post from you na kailangan kong i-print at ilagay sa pinto ng ref. salamat po.
i just love your perspective joel.
Hi. Napadaan lang po.. just got to say na medyo natauhan ako sa post mo. I'm also in my early 20s and I think pareho kami ng friend mo... well dun sa craziness part.
"Ah, youth! I thought"
--
BTW, I enjoy reading your posts. =)
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