Give A Dog(style) A Bone(r)

There was this guy I hooked up with in the bathhouse. He really looked like a Pinoy version of Sugar Mosley, with matching close-cropped curly hair and stubbles. He also had a very buff body, though not as big and as built as the boxer. But you can see he works out—a lot.

While we were in my room going at one another full-tilt, he kept saying, “Oh, fetch! Oh, fetch! Fetch! Yeah, fetch!” I was too much into pumping his ass to stop, but at the back of my mind a voice was screaming, “WTF?! Why does he keep saying ‘fetch’?! Am I supposed to bark now? Am I to get a bone? No wait—! Wasn’t ‘fetch’ from the movie Mean Girls?!”

(Okay, for those who haven’t watched the Tina Fey-Lindsay Lohan movie: when Gretchen kept saying, “That is so fetch!” in an attempt to coin a new phrase, queen bee Regina snapped, “Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!”)

So afterwards as he was leaving my room, I couldn’t help but stop him, “Hey, wait. You kept saying something like ‘fetch.’ What was that?”

He smiled and said, “Oh yeah, fetch! I just say fetch instead of fuck.”

Oh. That’s so fetch.