Questions For McVie

Question: You’re a player, but you got serious with someone for five years. Then you find out that your partner cheated on you, so you decide to break up with him. Do you go back to being a player?

Well, they say that a leopard doesn’t change its spots. Or was that a cheetah? Anyway, it seems that the person asking the question has this idea that “once a player, always a player,” which carries the same sentiment as that “once an waiter, always a waiter” line in Joey Gosengfiao’s camp classic Temptation Island. But can a player become a waiter, and vice versa? Can a leopard turn into a cheetah? Or are we all doomed to be players, waiters, leopards and cheetahs until we die?

Dude, you’ve proven that you can decide to not be a player; you were serious for five years. And you’ve proven that you can decide whether to stay with him or not; you chose to break it off with him.

So go ahead, decide if you wanna go back to being a player or not.

Mee-yawr!

Question: Is anybody capable of never falling for anyone? Can one really control one’s feelings?

Controlling one’s feelings is a bit tricky. Feelings are feelings; some people may experience intense feelings, but others may be more sanguine in their outlook. But regardless of how much or how little you feel, feelings are neither right nor wrong; they just are. Forcing oneself to suppress feelings, especially intense ones, have been known to be psychologically unhealthy.

I personally find comfort in the wise lyrics of a particular song: “Feelings, nothing more than feelings; trying to forget my feelings of love.”

For your emotional health, I suggest you allow yourself to feel. As I’ve said, feelings are just feelings. But what’s more important is: Control your actions.

So you get angry at the driver of the car that suddenly cut in front of you. But do you floor the accelerator and smash your car against his bumper? No, because you took control of your actions, and smashing cars is not an act of a responsible, mature driver who’s on EDSA. Because you’re in control of your actions, you yell in anger inside the privacy of your airconditioned car, because you need to let off some steam. You mentally flip him the bird; you imaging overtaking then cutting him off as revenge. But do you do any of that? No. Because you are in control of your actions, and you choose to act responsibly.

Can you control falling for someone? Maybe you can’t stop yourself from being attracted to someone, but you can definitely choose to stay or, if necessary, move away from him. In which case, I have another appropriate song for you: “O tukso, layuan mo akoooo!”