Give Me Head

For readability’s sake, I am rewriting the YM conversation I had with K like the dialogue of a scene. K is a young friend who always liked discussing relationship stuff with me. And so: lights, camera, action!

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mcvie: Believe me, Rejection and I are super tight, as in Best Buds for Life! Hahaha!

K: Hahaha! We all go through rejection, honey. I guess you feel you’ve had your fair share. Baka lang inuubos lang yung quota mo, and the trend is changing. Hahaha!

mcvie: Kasi if I get rejected these days, I know exactly what to do. So it takes me about a week—more or less—depending on the intensity of my feelings and the “sayang” potential. And then I’m over him.

K: Whew!

mcvie: Which, truthfully, is an embarrassing fact that I shouldn’t gloat about, hahaha!

K: You have mastered it. Maybe time really is the best teacher.

mcvie: Time and experience, hand in hand.

K: Do you get really intense? As in head over heels?

mcvie: Before. Now I still go intense, but my head is much better trained so that it actually tells my heart to hold its horses.

K: And does your heart follow?

mcvie: Most of the time my brain puts on the brakes. Well, my heart still makes mukmok and is pasaway but thanks to my brain, my actions are dictated more by brain than heart. I end up feeling bad and all that shit, but I just allow my feelings to run its course safely. What I mean by safely is that I often just talk to close friends about it. I let it all out. And that’s the extent to which I act on my feelings, by letting them run their course.

K: Which is healthy.

mcvie: I try not to do anything stupid, like run after the guy, make makaawa...

K: Ever?

mcvie: …do stupid, grand gestures that are desperate, really.

K: Siguro not in the recent past.

mcvie: Before yes, when I was younger and more foolish, hahaha! Nowadays, at my age? Nakakahiya na! Hahaha!

K: Ahahaha! Ano ba? Sometimes you have to fight for it.

mcvie: No, I don’t believe in that. Kung ayaw niya, bakit ko pipilitin? It just means he doesn’t want it (a relationship with me) that bad enough. He’s just not that into me.

K: Sigh. Cutting your losses early.

mcvie: Oh no, it’s called letting go. There’s no greater power than the power of goodbye. :-)