Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Monday, February 05, 2007

Freaky Friday

This was a little freaky, even for me.

About two weeks ago a friend of ours met us to tell us about neuro-linguistic programming or NLP. It’s used primarily for personal development, but there are other practical uses for it, especially in sales and—get this—seduction. So I decided to try it out a bit, especially this “mirroring” thing. Mirroring is part of establishing a rapport with another person; by matching his or her body language or voice or speech, you make yourself more in synch with the other, increasing the rapport. This also makes you more “attractive” to the other person; the idea behind this is that “people like people who are like themselves.”

So last Friday I went to Bed. My intentions were simple: just have a drink or two, enjoy the music and test this mirroring thing. I got me a drink, then planted myself a few feet away from the bar, behind the couches. I spotted this guy by the edge of the bar. I’ve seen him several times before, always around the same area; I think that’s his favorite spot. He’s tall, with an angular face and a slightly-too-prominent jaw, but still quite cute. In fact, I’ve always been intrigued by him ever since I noticed him months ago, but he always seems to be wrapped up with his own posse. This time he was alone. Taking a deep breath, I zoomed in on him and started mirroring his body language from across the room. When he crossed his arms, I crossed mine; when he placed his hands in his pockets, I did too. I tried not to glance too often in his direction, just peering from the corner of my eye. But I did notice that he would glance at me once in a while. Hmmm, interesting! I finished my San Mig lite and continued to watch the people on the dance floor while mirroring his movements. After 10 minutes or so, I saw him call a waiter over. And then I saw him gesturing towards my direction. Whuh?! A few minutes later the waiter approached me, holding a cold, newly-opened bottle of beer and the message, “For you, from him,” and he pointed towards my benefactor.

Bingo! Pong! Full house! Jakpat! Bongga wagi! Victoria! Winner! Tarush! Babae na akoh! (Ay teka, sa Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah Ze Musical pala yun.)

Never has a stranger bought me a drink before. I’m pretty sure he has seen me before here in Bed, so I doubt if this is a case of “oh-here’s-a-newbie-let-me-welcome-him” gesture on his part.

We ended up talking most of the night. There was some flirting going on, but ultimately nothing happened. I didn’t push the mirroring exercise anymore when we were conversing. I was okay with finally meeting him and knowing his name.

I know that one test subject is not conclusive, but it was already too late into the morning for me to conduct one more test. Next time na lang.

As I said, it was a little freaky even for me.


Raymond said...

Wow, congrats, wagi ka talaga, day! Salamat sa tip. Masubukan nga yang mirroring na yan.

Phillip said...

ma-try nga! Hehe.

joelmcvie said...


There is a big difference between "mirroring" and "mimicking"! If you're caught doing the latter, that person may think you're mocking him or worse. I suggest you read up on mirroring first (just Google, there are several articles on it).