Romantic Frantic, A Follow-Up

“But wait,” my young friend stopped me in my tracks. “You said that romantic love is selfish. I was thinking about that. Yes, part of it is selfish, because you’re acting on things that make you happy. But isn’t your attention also directed to the other person? And don’t you do things for him because you know that makes him happy?”

I smiled at him. Thank god my young friend uses his head. Maybe that’s why I’m fast considering him a friend more than just a casual acquaintance.

“You’re right,” I replied. “And that’s why, in the larger scheme of things, romantic love has its place under the sun. It helps teach a person to look beyond himself; instead of everything directed only at oneself, a person now starts considering the needs and wants of another. Instead of just an ‘I, me, mine’ approach to the world, a person now expands his view to encompass a ‘we’ way of thinking. At least that’s a lot better than someone just watching out for himself at the expense of everyone else.”

Then I quickly added, “But there are, of course, watch outs. Too much of something is never healthy. If one thinks only of the other at one’s own expense, that’s not healthy. If it becomes a ‘you and me against the world’ kind of relationship, that too isn’t healthy.”

My young friend asked, “So what is healthy?”

I kept silent for a moment. “A sense of perspective, I guess,” I eventually offered.

“Perspective?” my young friend sounded incredulous.

“Yeah,” I shrugged. “Live and learn. Keep an open mind yet be skeptical. Know that you don’t know everything. And,” I paused, “age and experience is necessary.” I smirked at him and laughed.

“Oh great.” My young friend smirked back, and slapped me on my shoulder.