Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Subic Adventure

We needed to set up our booth and event venue for the Ad Congress, so we left for Subic a day earlier.

We arrive around dinnertime and proceeded to our rented house. It turns out to be the house owned by a former bold star in the 80s(?), Ms. AP. We decided to just drop our luggage off and proceed to eat dinner out. But while waiting for the others to finish settling in their stuff, our hostess arrived to greet us.

In just a t-shirt and shorts. With her nipples obviously making their mark.

And her daughter accompanied her; she looks like she’s not more than 10 years old. And she is a special child.

After a few minutes of chatting with the hostess (and attempts to chat with her daughter), we left for dinner. In our shuttle, we raised the weird vibes we got from our hostess and her daughter.

“Did you hear how she talks to her child?”

“Did you notice she was bra-less?!”

“Did you notice how perky she was? Or rather, they were?”

“Was she high, or on something?”

“Was she all there?”

So a couple of us flipped open their laptop and Google’d our host. And it turns out our host figured in a vehicular incident here in Subic—she ran over and killed two people while under the influence of alcohol.

Cue in Psycho music.

When we came back to the house, AP was there waiting for us. She knew we were going to be drinking that night at her patio area, so she decided to join us.

After a few shots she was already drunk and started telling her sob stories. Then she asked two of our boys to accompany her because she needed to pee. While walking her towards the bathroom, the boys were shocked when she suddenly pulled her shorts down, squatted and pee’d. They just looked away as she calmly finished her business.

Eventually they were able to convince her to go to sleep. The guys finished drinking at around 3am, but managed to clean up the patio area before retiring.

The next morning we woke up to the sound of rustling and furtive movement in the patio area. When one of us came out to smoke, lo and behold, he saw four huge-ass monkeys rummaging through our stuff and trash. Two of them had already opened a bag of chips and was on their way to finishing it off. He and the monkeys looked at each other for a second. Then all bolted in the opposite direction, our guy back to his room and the monkeys towards the trees in the backyard.

It’s going to be a memorable Ad Congress for us.


citybuoy said...

hahaha poor girl. *googling* wala bang clue? haha

rudeboy said...

Angela Perez?

Oh - and I howled at the monkeys.