Many may not realize that my persona online is not who I am offline. But what some people who've met me, even those who consider me their friend, do not realize (and I don't blame them for this) is that my offline persona is also not exactly who I am.
No, I'm not schizophrenic. Just review your Johari window (Google it, for chrissakes) and you'll get what I mean.
What you see are only facets of me. But more importantly, there are things about me on and offline that are for show. Thus, the title of my blog.
Why put on a show? I have my reasons, and I don't need to explain them all to everyone.
But take my cynicism for example. I am actually a hopeful person by nature, and a realist by nurture. However, hopeful isn't exactly as entertaining as despair. Face it, happy endings are precisely at the end because if they were at the start, then there'd be no movie; if they were in the middle, then the movie would be cut short and the audience will leave the moviehouse screaming, "Harang! Bitin!"
I also realize that a surplus of despair and loathing is ultimately tiresome and unbelievable. A series of unfortunate events can make for great children's literature (and a so-so movie adaptation, despite the great Meryl Streep's presence). But a blogful of unfortunate entries is like a blogful of successful sexual conquests; there's a "Yeah, riiiight" quality inherent in them.
So while I often take the cynic route online, it's really to entertain myself and to give voice to that nagging question in my head, "Am I sure?" And that cynical stance is something I make a show of offline as well. Because really, how sure am I?
If you ask me if I'm the kind of person whose glass is half-empty or half-full, I'd reply that I'm in the middle. It's kinda neither here nor there, but then again that's life.
7 comments:
I like this piece, Joel.
The theatrical, public parts we play are still drawn from authentic, private parts of our selves. Magnified, sometimes, for dramatic and/or comical effect.
And as Noxeema Jackson said at the end of To Wong Foo: "Larger-than-life...is just the right size."
so true. it's strange how many personas we actually have. i'm sure that just by the blogs i've been reading, i could shatter a johari window or two.
"But a blogful of unfortunate entries is like a blogful of successful sexual conquests; there's a "Yeah, riiiight" quality inherent in them."
glad someone finally said it. haha
Emcee: "Joel, is your glass half-full or half-empty?"
Joel: "Upper meniscus, or lower meniscus?"
galing naman, naexplain mo yung gusto ko din ipaliwanag hehe
so, hu u?
@JAYsee: Me who? =)
i think we just have different personalities when we're with a certain group. like me, i'm more quiet when with my officemates, loud with my gimmick buds, snobbish with new people, etc.
pero i think all of it is not just another mask. we just adapt with the situation.
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