Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Too Gigil To Giggle

My dear straight friends and former classmates: The following material is classified as Possibly Contains Too Much Information. Avert your eyes elsewhere.

* * * * *

He was shorter and thinner than me. The semikal hair made him look like Trouble. So I invited him to my room.

He pinned me down and started playing his tongue all over my body. He sucked my toes. He tongue-fucked my glory hole deep and fast. He spread my legs and positioned his cock against my hole. “No condom, no way,” I made an excuse. So he contented himself to dry humping my ass. He’s going through my routine, I told myself. So this is how it feels to make out with oneself.

So when he paused in his assault, I launched my counter-attack. I first aimed for his nipples. Apparently that’s his extremely sensitive area. My sudden licking threw him off so I threw him off me and I straddled him, pinning his arms to the side. Taken aback, he tried to fight back. But I had his nipples under my tongue, and it reduced him to utter alternating squeals of lust and laughter. When I dived my tongue into his pits, his body twisted violently. “Huwag! Huwag!” he cried, but he might as well have commanded me, “More! More!” I continued until I reduced him to a sweating, panting, helpless mess. Throughout it all we were hitting the thin wooden walls of my room; I’m sure the guys outside at the corridor were treated to the sound of sexual struggle.

I returned the favor and rimmed him good. That got him groaning out loud and swearing through gritted teeth, “‘Tangina mo! ‘Tangina mo! Put—!” gasp “—tang ina ka!” I swear at any other time I’d be embarrassed with all the noise, but this time it was really turning me on. There’s something about overpowering an aggressor and reducing him to putty.

When I flipped him over and mounted his back, he moaned with pleasure. “Putangina pare, ngayon lang ako nag-bottom, para sa ‘yo lang,” he moaned, pushing his ass up to meet my thrusts. Something snapped in my head and I turned animal, gripping his chest with my arms as my pounding increased harder, faster. He went wild with his moaning and groaning. He said, “Sige! Buntisin mo ako! Buntisin mo ako!

Thank god at that point I was so deep into thrusting I couldn’t stop to snicker, even if I wanted to.


Anonymous said...

whoa, another one of Mcvie story, only joel can blog about! yah! hehehe (got overwhelmed lang po!)

Question, i got an email add frm yahoo grp (yup still subscribe to it) dat sed ders a massage parlor (W yata name) in kamias near edsa, massage for only P200! ever been der or tried it? (or r these d cheap massage parlor ones, but they seem to have young boys as massuer in thier ads?) just asking po!

joelmcvie said...

@JOSH: Sorry but I've not been back to those massage parlors (they're not exactly cheap, they're just more blatantly for extra service) for the longest time. That's one scene I seemed to have outgrown. But who knows, maybe one day I might revisit my days of youthful folly, hehehe.

As for now, you might have to ask others for more details. :-)

Anonymous said...

Go friend! Unleash the animal in you! Now if only the bed was strong enough to endure your sharp claws. :)

DATS said...

phew! what a tale! you go me there! :) great post here! :)

joelmcvie said...

@PAO: Arf! Arf! ;-)

@DATS: Aherm, well... DATS entertainment! (Shet, ang corny hahaha!) said...

i always find that asking a guy to dump his load inside works best with english

"fuckin' seed that hole!'
"breed that muthafucker!"
"fill that fuckin' hole"

if it's tagalog, best to be straight forward and lose the gender-based metaphors, and add "pare" at the last part
"tangina, labas mo lahat sa loob pare"
"punuin mo pare"

joelmcvie said...

@POWERBOTTOM: I've had someone tell me, "Paputukin mo sa loob, pare!"

I have to admit, I kinda "soften" a bit after hearing him, cuz the back of my mind was going, "Heller?! Eh wala kang matris ano?!" and "Hello?! Baog po ako!" HAHAHAHA.

I swear, my sense of humor can really be distracting. :-)

Anonymous said...

This is why Joel is one of my favorite bloggers.

John Halcyon von Rothschild said...

For a minute there, I thought I was reading a post by Powerbottom. LOL. Buntisin mo ako! LOL! That's just too funny. I'd probably stop and just laugh at him.

Marcus: Bading Down Under said...

Oh my God! That is so funny! I think bottoming tends to bring out the crazy in people - or at least, that is what I would like to think (remembering my Hermione hirit).

Brian said...

"ngayon lang ako nag-bottom?" oh pleeehze. BOTTOM YAN.

joelmcvie said...

@BRIAN: Yeah, bottom yan. Kapatid ni Rico at Bobby. :-)

cant_u_read said...

“Sige! Buntisin mo ako! Buntisin mo ako!”

ay! hindi ba dapat sinasabi yun?!

Kai Santorino said...


Can't they just say, fuck me! Fuck me! They dont have a fucking uterus for chrissakes! hahahah!

thanks for the funny post.