Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Backhanded Compliment of the Night

“You fuck great, considering your size.”

“Oh,” I was taken aback. Considering your size? No one has ever told me to my face about the size of my dick. I’ve always considered mine average-sized in proportion to the rest of my body. “Well, I know I’m not as well-endowed as a horse,” I quipped.

“Yeah, but you were really good,” he said matter-of-factly. “Really.”

But I guess that wasn’t enough for me. Considering your size? I had the opportunity to find out more so I probed further. “Would you say that my dick, compared to the ones you’ve, ah, experienced, is small or average for a Filipino?” I asked.

He paused for a while, looking at the ceiling, before he answered. “Small,” he said with finality. “Sorry, I don’t mean to insult you or hurt your feelings.”

I laughed. He’s not being a dick, he’s just a size-queen bottom, I told myself. Aloud I said, “Well, that’s why I make up for the lack of size with performance level.”

“Oh yeah!” he replied. “You really know how to work that dick of yours.”

And we talked some more.


Anonymous said...

Hi they's not the size of the wand, but the magic in the stick that matters.=)


cant_u_read said...

bukas ba ang bath houses kahit eleksyon?

matagal ko nang di nasasabi sa kapwa lalaki yang "you fuck great" na linyang yan.

Anonymous said...

ano ba 'tong si randy...naka-anonymous tapos sinulat yung pangalan niya. hehehe! peace randy whoever you are. :)

anyway...friend, hindi naman kayo nagdala ng tape measure ano? :)

joelmcvie said...

RYE: I'm almost sure they're open--kahit Good Friday yata, bukas sila eh! But let me double-check first.

PAO: Duct tape dapat ang dala ko, para i-tape ang bunganga niya, hahaha.

Marcus: Bading Down Under said...

Wow. Parang I wouldn't know where to begin with that one.

But, as always, your blog (not to mention your life) is quite inspiring! :-)

joelmcvie said...

MARCUS: Hahaha, I inspire short-dick men to whip it, whip it good! Hahaha!

THE GRIPEN said...

Olats pala kayo sa top na ito! Hindi na kailangan ng ribbed jacket o bolitas!

Kuya Joel Whats your technique anyway? I mean enyone can boast to have a large baloney,but in fact were still pinoy and max that we could have is just six or seven.
So really it ain't that big. Pwede ka bang maglabas ng instructional video?


joelmcvie said...

THE GRIPEN: Ayoko ng video, baka mag-leak pa yon sa YouTube, mahirap na. Live demo na lang, pero dapat hindi mukhang toro kasi bastos na yon. Dapat ang delivery, parang yung mga nagde-demo sa may entrance ng mga Ace Hardware o Handyman, hahaha! Choz.