Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Talk Talk

He turned to me, his face all serious, and asked: “Don’t you get lonely?”

I sighed silently. Not another one in this venue. Why do they come here in the first place? Can’t they just acknowledge the fake romance played out in the dark corners and on sweat-stained bedcovers? Or are they really that—gasp!—hopeful that they’ll find true love here? I mean, c’mon. Possible, yes; improbable, most likely. Better try your luck in the Lotto instead of in the bathhouse.

All that flashed like split-second deja vu before I answered him: “Nope.”

“Never?” his voice was full of incredulity and suspicion.

“I didn’t say never,” I said. Patience is a virtue, I decided. “But for years now I’ve perfected the art of stopping Loneliness in his tracks, way before he can hook his claws on me and transform himself into Despair.”

(Okay, my actual sentence wasn’t as polished as in the previous paragraph, but hey, this is The McVie Show, hm’kay? But the content remains fairly accurate.)

“Wow! You really are a copywriter,” he marveled.

(See? Told ya’h.)

He continued. “So how do you do it? How do you stop yourself from feeling lonely when you don’t have anyone?”

Here we go again with my monologue. “I may be single, but I’m not lonely. I see my family and friends everyday. I have friends in the office. I’ve online friends. And while I may be alone blah blah blah, yada yada yada, I’m not lonely nu ni nu ni nu, yakity yak yak yak, but years ago I was lucky enough to discover a constant companion who continues to entertain and intrigue me every day.” Then I turned to him and looked him in the eye. “Can you guess who?”

He hesitated. “G-God?” he asked, almost embarrassed.

It took everything I had to not fill the second floor of the bathhouse with scandalous laughter. Instead I let off a giggle and some sputtering, all the while turning my head away from him so he won’t see me roll my eyes several times over. Then I faced him again, smiled sweetly and said, “Well, yeah. Him also, if you’re so inclined. God, Mama Mary, His angels… sure, go ahead, talk to Them, have Them beside you always, why not?”

He knew he got it wrong. I decided to end his suffering. “My constant companion is myself,” I said.

“Aaaaaaah,” he said, the vowel stretched with doubt.

Why do I even bother, I asked myself and kissed him on the lips to shut him up. For the rest of the evening I let body language do the talking.

1 comment:

joaqui_miguel said...

Some people may not understand that at times, spending time with yourself is one of the best things to do in your spare time.

And for those who understand the bliss and comfort of enjoying your own company and knowing you can actually be alone with yourself and not be bored, you just feel blessed to be one of the few who can actually do it.