Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Friday, August 01, 2008

If Only We Can Say Out Loud What We Think, Part 2

Remember Call Center Boy? The semikal, tattooed guy whom “nothing really happened” between the two of us in the gym sauna?

Well, he (let’s call him CB) was waiting for me at the gym sauna this morning. I knew CB was waiting because when he saw me at my locker right after my workout, he then ducked into the sauna. And I knew he was waiting because his towel was already tenting when I stepped into the dark, heated room.

Hindi ka naman excited, ano?

CB went through the motions, closing his eyes as if soaking in the heat, putting his small towel over his head so as to hide his face, refusing to look my way.

Arte mo—ha. Baduy—ha. O sha, sige na nga. If that’ll put you to ease, then go ahead.

He spread his legs wider, to allow me a peek. So I shifted my weight to move closer to him, and reached out my hand.

He shifted his leg away. “Just look,” he said.

My gawsh?! After all that we’ve been through the last time, ngayon ka pa mag-iinarte?! Ay sus, di gaanong kahabaan ang hair mo, ‘teh.

He smiled at me. “Remember, last time didn’t happen.”

And if you keep this kabaduyan up, this time will not happen!

But I was Miss Congeniality this morning. “Of course, it never happened,” I returned his smile.

Then came CB’s killer question: “Are you sure you didn’t tell anyone, huh?”


I whispered, “Naaaah,” like I was letting him in on a secret.

Extrapolating from Google Analytics, I think more than 300-plus people know about you by now. And now you’ve just given me a great follow-up to your previous episode in The McVie Show.

But then we heard sounds of shuffling feet outside, and we pretended we were minding our own business in our own personal spaces. The sauna door opened, and in came this guy. He looks like the less-handsome younger brother of Michael Flores (of the defunct TV show “TGIS”), scrunched to around 5’4” and with a belly that’s a little bit out of control. He glanced at me then at CB. And I swear I saw CB nod “Hi” and I heard him grunt a greeting.

OMG. Ladies and gentlemen, change script! Change episode ito!

(to be continued)


enegue said...

hi joel. i can't wait for the next part :) hehe ingat lagi (sa adventures din) :)

Anonymous said...

oh my... don't tell me... this is exciting! hehehehe!

palma tayona said...

hahahaha... for the next episode he should be named "CB Slut" or "CB 2-timer". hahahahaha....

Mugen said...

One word: Juicy.

ONAI said...

english ba kung english hehe

blow_up said...

"remember,last time didn't happen."

surreal sya?
nagpapa-theater of the absurd? sayang naman ang script nya,