Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

I Shake My Tush On The Catwalk

This morning at the gym a really obese man, with flesh folds enough to smother a 2-month old kitten, stepped out from the showers with the club’s standard-sized towel stretched to straining point around his waist. Upon reaching his locker, he took out his gym bag and proceeded to dress up. And he did what I thought was a massively courageous thing to do: he dropped his towel on the floor.

I’ve always loved seeing other men’s asses while in the locker room, whether accidentally or surreptitiously. Part of it is my appreciation of a fine-shaped piece of ass—the more muscular, the merrier. And part of me is massively curious as to the different shapes and sizes of a man’s behind. But this morning I got my quota of ass sighting to last me ‘til 2020.

On the one hand, I really admire his “What do I care?” attitude, his nonchalance at exposing his naked tush—enough for two J.Lo’s with some more to spare—for everyone to see (and there was quite a number of people in the locker area at that time). But on the other hand I want to accuse him of crimes against humanity. Oh the humanity! Especially when he put his boxer tent—er, shorts—on; what should have been cute little teddy bear prints now looked like grizzlies, their smiling faces stretched to Joker lengths.

(An aside thought: if my fellow gym mates ever find out about this Show, the next time they see me there they’ll scamper and hide.)


Anonymous said...

Oh, the places you'll go and the people you'll meet..who knew there'd be material for a blog entry/MMK episode in the dark recesses of the gym...

Another memorable post, McVie.


Mugen said...

Oh the humanity indeed. Dami mong napapansin sa gym ah. Bakit ako wala. Haha.

joelmcvie said...

@MUGEN: Open your eyes, be aware, be observant. =)

joaqui_miguel said...

"with flesh folds enough to smother a 2-month old kitten"

I'm sorry but this is so funny. lol A little mean, might be true but funny nonetheless. lol

Btw, I finally watched my happy ending. Thanks. :)

fried-neurons said...

teka, teka, educate me nga. Ano ba ang locker room etiquette in Manila? Do you keep the towel wrapped around your waist as you struggle to put your underwear on while keeping your bits hidden?

Hindi ba "proper" to totally remove your towel kapag ready ka na to step into your boxer briefs? :)

joelmcvie said...

@FRIED-NEURONS: Most Filipinos (and also the long-time foreigners who've observed how Filipinos dress up in locker rooms) would do the "keep the towel wrapped around your waist as you struggle to put your underwear on while keeping your bits hidden" thing. That's the norm.

Few Filipinos would do what you call the "proper" thing. That's why it's a treat for me when a Filipino does that, cuz then I get a glimpse of the full moon. But if what I glimpse is not a moon but a whole solar system, the sight can be quite overwhelming. =)

fried-neurons said...

Ah, ok. And here I thought we had lost some of our modesty.

Shock boogie siguro the people if I go to a gym in Manila and everyone can si my dingdong (hindi lang the moon) sa locker room. Hahaha.

joelmcvie said...

@FRIED-NEURONS: Shock boogie is not the only effect that can occur. The effect will depend on a couple of things: your dindong and the viewer.

The effects can range from "Let me look away" to "Good lord, I can't look away!", and from "Huh? What dingdong?" to "Ooh, I would like a bite of that dingdong!"

And we haven't touched on your moon yet! =)

Tristan Tan said...

Hahaha - this post is hilarious! I think I may be guilty (to some extent) of committing crimes against humanity. Any chance you work out in Gold's Galleria? Hahaha.