Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Friday, August 22, 2008

Sauna Soundbite (“Saunanaman?!”)

(a.k.a. If Only We Can Say Out Loud What We Think, Part 4)

Remember CB, a.k.a. Call Center Boy, a.k.a. the semikal-with-tattoos guy? The Mr. “This never happened” Dude in a couple of gym sauna encounters here and here? He provided me another memorable morning worthy of an episode in this Show.

When I entered the sauna, CB and another guy (because his haircut looked like a Mohawk, let’s call him that) were already in the middle of silent eye-to-eye negotiations. CB knew I was game for some hot sauna action, so he didn’t bother to hide his growing erection under his towel. Mohawk, on the other hand, seemed interested only in just fondling himself; he didn’t bother to come any closer to CB. Unfortunately Mohawk only had eyes for CB—methinks he was enamored with the tattoos and the close-cropped hair. Damn! Bad news for me, because Mohawk’s manhood had an impressive girth and length, easily dwarfing CB’s decent yet increasingly ho-hum proportions.

Apparently CB also realized he won’t be able to get Mohawk to go down on him, which is why he decided to let me in on their action. CB gestured with his hands for me to come closer to him. Then he parted his towel.

Okay, take two! I told myself.

Having Mohawk watching us seemed to turn CB on even further. He was moaning and fondling my hair, trying to push himself deeper in my mouth. I could sense (don’t ask me how, I just know!) that CB was looking at Mohawk while I was blowing him. Pretty soon I heard CB tell Mohawk, “Sit here if you want to join in.” Mohawk sat beside us.

Wheeee! It’s going to be a three-way morning again!

But Mohawk didn’t make any more moves towards CB or me. Instead at the corner of my eye I saw him whip out his impressive sequoia tree while I was busy trying to make CB’s shrub spew sap. And that’s when CB, with a naughty smile in his voice, uttered his quotable quote for the morning:

“My, my, my! This boy wants his suck cocked!”

Ang OA na, verbal dyslexic pa!

And despite CB’s less-than-notable “note”, I almost gagged.


Anonymous said...

Bwahahaha.... It really is a base to base cases. =)

Your "sauna series" is so funny.


joelmcvie said...

@RANDY: It's not me, it's CB!

joaqui_miguel said...

What a way to start the day, ei?

When you have this in the morning, you can't help but shout "Good Morning!" with an infectitious morning glee tone. hehehe

E said...

yea limit yourself to that ok? dont go any further meaning dont get Fkd especially unprotected.

joelmcvie said...

@E: Of course naman! Thanks for the sobering stories.

loudcloud said...

a classic, mcvie! hahahaha.

i am awed that you can still think of snappy zingers to spice your blog later while-uh-going at it.

i say hooray for multi-taskers! LOL

Vince said...

What a hot story, and a really funny spoonerism especially given the context. Hehehe.

Tristan Tan said...

oh my my my! where is this place? i'm in the wrong gym. hahaha

Mugen said...

konti pa mcvie. Dadayo na ako jan sa gym mo. Bwahahaha!!

Quentin X said...

This is about as funny as farting during anal sex.

joelmcvie said...

@MUGEN: I saw CB-with-the-tatoos last night. Night shift pala ampowtah. Kaya sa umaga nasa gym, nagpapa-relax bago umuwi't matulog.

joelmcvie said...

@QUENTIN: Depends on who farts. If the top farts, it's just normal. If the bottom farts, it's embarrassing. If it's a wet fart....

ArchieMD said...

hmmm... this reminds me of what happened in Wreck beach in Vancouver.