“What Is The Essence To Be A Gay?”

Benevolent judges, ladies and gentlemen, good evening!

Trying to define “homosexuality” and “gay” and thinking that the two words are synonymous will get you caught in a discussion that is still ongoing. Worse, terms such as “sexual orientation,” “sexual history” and “self-identification” are also thrown into the fray. I am not about to write a thesis, nor am I going to choose this topic should I decide to write a book.

I guess the simplest way I can define a homosexual person is this: if he is sexually and romantically attracted to people of the same gender, and if he identifies himself as such.

(Dear lesbians, for the sake of simplicity I just decided to limit my pronouns to “he” and my discussion to gay men, no offense meant of course.)

Which means that everything else—the fashion, the attitude, the loud behavior, the love for beauty contests, the tight-fitting muscle shirts, the impressive pecs, the cross-dressing, the discreet-acting—all that is relative and merely indicative of what most gay men appropriate for themselves, in their lifestyle, behavior, manners and values. At best these behaviors and manners are generalizations of what gay men are. Call them “circumstantial evidence,” so to speak.

Let me put it this way. Many New Yorkers are seen as pushy, aggressive, hurried people. That’s due to the effect of living in a fast-paced city. But not all New Yorkers are pushy, aggressive and hurried; likewise, not all pushy, aggressive and hurried people are New Yorkers.

Not all gay men should be discreet and straight-acting; in the same spirit, not all gay men should be loud and flamboyant. But gay men should have the freedom to choose to be discreet and straight-acting, or to be loud and flamboyant, or to be somewhere in between, or to be both depending on the occasion. The beauty of this “rainbow coalition” is that we should embrace all our differences, because the only thing that’s similar to us homosexuals is our sexual preference. We can view all other preferences as what makes us human, not just gay.

Taken to another level, gays and straights should be able to act any which way they want, whether conservative or flamboyant. It would be a wonderful world if we all can be tolerant with straight guys who sport Mohawks, leather jackets and tattoos as well as with flamboyant queens who parade in feathers and high heels.

Too idealistic? Impossible to achieve in this lifetime? I suppose. But there’s no harm in starting now.

And with that, I thank you benevolent judges. Bow.