Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Young Looks? Olé!

I still get a kick out of hearing people tell me, “Whaaat?! You’re 41? You don’t look it! I thought you were younger.” Their guesstimates range from late twenties to early thirties. One decade knocked off my age—not bad, right? I know it won’t last, so I might as well take advantage of it while I still have it. Bathhouses, here I come hahaha!

Which makes me wonder: do I also join my oh-so-younger colleagues and start using Olay Total Effects? Hahaha.

What’s my beauty secret? (Secret! Charing.)

Really, I have no beauty secret. In fact, I have no beauty, period. Hahahahaha!

I have no secret regimen, no secret oil or cream or moisturizer or any product. No, I do not even spread cum on my face—although, oooooooh! Kinky! Hahahaha!

I remember when I was fresh out of college and working at the CCP, I was still getting zits. Then one day a theater actor told me how he maintained his smooth skin despite having to put on make-up for every performance. He washed his face using just plain water; no soap (not even the kindest, gentlest soap available), no moisturizers, no nothing. (Well, he used Pond’s to take the make-up off, but after that, nothing.)

So I stopped buying the glycerin soap Pears (it’s a U.K. soap that was more affordable than the very expensive Neutrogena). Soon after that my face broke out only rarely. Then a few more years later I realized with a jolt that I’ve been relatively zits-free. Now I don’t remember anymore when I last had a zit on my face.

But I cannot say for sure that it was my water-only policy that cleared my face. For all I know, it was just age that kicked in.

I now have more white hair on my head, though I never bothered to hide them or have them dyed. I used to get shocked whenever I’d see a strand of white on my beard; now it’s not surprising to see at least three or four strands of white. I suspect in the next few months that number will increase exponentially.

The lines permanently etched on my face do not bother me anymore also. At first it was just lines on my forehead; now there are lines under my eyes and when I smile, crow’s feet appear on the corners of my eyes. The only lines that bother me now are the numerous ones on my neck; they’re a dead giveaway of just how old I am. Whenever I see myself alongside others in the pictures taken in Bed, I immediately notice how everyone else’s necks are flawless. Hmmm… hello, turtlenecks? Hahaha!

Another reason why I look young is because I think and feel young. It helps that I work out so that I keep my body in shape, preventing creaks and pains from creeping in. More importantly I always make it a point to keep in touch with the younger generation. It is to my personal and professional advantage to know what preoccupies the kids these days. Staying in touch with them helps keep me feeling young; touching and feeling the young, though, is a different matter altogether. Pedophilia na po yun; bitay po yun.

But in the end, there’s really a fair balance to all this: I may be blessed with younger looks, but that means I don’t have a product I can endorse. Patas-patas lang, kumbaga.

What would you rather have: younger looks or product endorsement?


Anonymous said...

"No, I do not even spread cum on my face..."

-- balita ko this is a good alternative to face lift...hahahaha!

I guess thinking positive also helps Pag puro kasi negative, kitang-kita sa mukha na negative din.

And more sex! It speeds up blood circulation to the max! :-)

cant_u_read said...

hindi ka pa rin nagsasabon ng mukha?

Keitaro Hanazawa said...

Sabi ng lola ko, kapag parati kang masaya magrereflect daw yun sa katawan natin. Basta pag happy ka at full of energy, eventually magiging physically fit tsaka good-looking ka rin kahit wala kang ginagamit na kahit anong creams. Yun ang sabi ng lola ko, but I'm not sure if its true, kasi kakamatay lang niya last year eh. Pero siguro nga, kasi nga di ba yung tagline nung Enervon, "more energy, mas happy!:

Add ko po kayo sa links ng blog ko ha? Tenks!

Bakla Sa Banga said...

product endorsement.

and younger looks.
both ate, actually.

Anonymous said...

Me younger look, d pa magastos! yup, yup yup, feel young & look young!

Baklang AJ said...

What would you rather have: younger looks or product endorsement?

pwede both?

John Halcyon von Rothschild said...

Wow. So you're an olay fan too eh? My lola swears by it and she looks great for her age. My mom uses Creme de La Mer (as do I along with my regimen of Clinique products...Vanity thy name is John). I could say all the corny things like age is just a number (which it is) and you're only as old as you feel. But I'll tell you my lolo's secret...have sex with younger women...well I think we can amend that and say have sex with younger men. The guy lived 'til he was 85. His brother is in his 70's and has a 35 year old wife. He looks like he's in his 50's and he's very very active (he and the new wife once broke a bed in my grandma's guest room which made her upset enough to make sumbong to my mom). Anyway I say give my theory a try: Sleep with a younger guy! (I just rhymed) CIAO!
PS Loved the podcasts! You have a great voice! Phonesex anyone? J/K

joelmcvie said...

PAO: Balita ko rin yun about cum. Masubukan nga... AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hmmm, I can't say I'm a positive thinker; I'm more of a realist in that I try to also think of the best and worst cases (I usually think of the worst first, hahaha). But in the end I hope for the best. Shet.

RYE: Yup! Hindi na ako nagsasabon ng mukha. BUT if I use make-up (like I did when I was in a play two years ago) I use this St. Ives make-up remover. Then I wash my face with water only.

I guess depende rin sa make-up na gamit ko. Kung Ati Atihan uling make-up ang gamit ko, baka TIDE at MISTER CLEAN ang gagamitin ko, ahahaha! May kasama pang DOWNY! AHAHAHAHA!

KEITARO: Kei, go and link! I'll link you too. Oh, condolence on your lola. Nawa'y namatay siya looking younger than her real age.

BAKLA SA BANGA: Baklang bakla ang sagot mo, at pasok sa banga din ang sagot mo. O di ba? Nagamit ko ang pangalan mo sa comment ko tungkol sa comment mo. (Wow. The minutiae of it all.)

JOSH: Think young din! So dapat isip-bata, ahahahaha!

BAKLANG AJ: Magsama kayo ni Bakla Sa Banga sa kanyang banga, hahahaha!

JOHN: Anubah? Not listening ka, hahaha!. I’m not a fan of Olay. But I was surprised at the number of Olay fans in MGG. Mukhang yun yung “hot” weapon of choice against the seven signs of aging.

Ay shet, I shouldn’t have said “I’m not a fan of Olay”! Now their PR agency will not offer me free products and invitations to events, ahahahahaha! Paging Eskinol, paging Ever Bilena! AHAHAHA!

aries said...

kantutan teh, kantutan! yan ang sekreto sa magandang mukha, katawan at buhay...

doctor's priscription:

-makipag kantutan sa iisang tao tatlong beses sa isang araw na pa iba iba ang posisyon, lagyan ng sound epeks, at gawin sa iba't ibang lugar. gawin hanggang por eyber kung kakayanin!


Q The Conqueror said...

Alala ko ung thing about the wonders of facials (cum on the face, not the other one the salons give). Nakita ko yan sa Nip/Tuck. Hahaha.

John Halcyon von Rothschild said...

Ay! Sorry! I misread! :P Blacklisted ka na ng Olay...Try mo na lang yung Placenta ni Mystica!... :*
@Q Regarding the cum facial...'di yun effective. You just wake up with your face all dry and have to sleep with cold goo all over your face...