Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Memories Of Monfort

Back in the early 80s, we had a P.E. teacher in high school named Chris Monfort. He had mestizo good looks, the kind that would make girls swoon and boys assume that he was suplado. On the contrary, he was very friendly to all. And though I could see he was a certified movie star-ready hunk, I didn’t have a crush on him.

We were in our second year, the honors class. We were the type of class that our first year homeroom teacher dubbed “the heartless one.” We were quick to question authority, and fearless in thinking for ourselves. We were quick to spot mistakes and call them out.

One day Monfort came into the classroom and announced he was going to give a lecture. And right there and then we realized that he was better off teaching us on the field than in the classroom.

The following are just some of the lines he uttered in the course of his 30-minute lecture:

“Muscles contain fats. But they also contain muscles.”

“Smoking contains nicotine.”

“…hearts and lung…”

“If you do not breathe, you will die for three minutes!”

Obviously we were taking down not notes, but his quotable quotes. And we were all giggling and trying to suppress the laughter, but we weren’t that successful. He noticed the class tittering, so he turned around and asked us, in a puzzled voice, “Class, why do you all look so funny?”

And pandemonium broke out in class.

* * * * *

(Chris died in 2001. He was just 40 years old. And yes, he remained dead for more than 3 minutes.)


Peter said...

Posthumous? Macabre? Was this at the Ateneo?

joelmcvie said...

@PETER: Very. Nope. Yes.

~Carrie~ said...


anteros' dominion said...

sir congrats in advance. looking forward na mabasa yung book mo. hope i can make it sa book launch, kaso i teach during weekends.

abangan ko na lang po ito sa bookstores

Lance said...

A filipino(language)teacher of mine once said in class, "Bato bato balani, ang tamaan wag magalit". :D

paci said...

i was about to laugh..but oh he died. and i was thinking that he not breathing was the result.


palma tayona said...

I like the picture you used in your avatar. It's so Egon Schiele'esque

Anonymous said...

may he rest in peace

Ming Meows said...

ay, meron din kaming ganyan teh.

"you should inventory your yaya, baka kung anung ginagawa ng yaya niyo."

Mike said...

haha! parang "kill the light" lang din ng teacher ko nung high school.

joelmcvie said...

@STEPFORDBOY: If he said it, it'll be, "Rest in pieces."

Friend said...

Here's a writeup at ateneo web site.

Johnny Cursive said...

kawawa talaga ang mga teacher kahit kelan pagdating sa ganyan. lalo na kung matinik ung mga estudyante.

ethan h said...

He was my PE teacher too.

I also recall him as the owner of the only motorcycle parked in the high school then. He would remind me of one of those hot, hard bikers, almost like a Harley crew. You knew he was around when you see the motorcycle. You hope for a free class when you don't see it parked.

How did he die? I can't remember. Motorcycle accident?

When your high school teachers pass away, you know you're getting old but you also start recalling how great your high school life was (or how terrible) and you can't imagine how your life would be today if you didn't go through what you did in high school, heartache and all. Sniff. Sniff.

"Form a straight circle"

icarusboytoy said...

hahaha the last part's a killer!