Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Monday, July 05, 2010

My Take On “The Couple Fabcast”

Towards the end of the recording of the Sam & Paul Fabcast, Migs asked the Fabcasters to give our take-away from what we’ve heard. He, Gibbs and I did.

A day or two after the recording, I messaged Migs and told him that I felt whatever I said during the recording was not too well thought out. The topic couldn’t easily be contained in easy, short soundbites, I needed time and distance to think things through. Thus that portion of the recording was edited out.

So now that Time has passed, here’s what I think about the whole Sam & Paul thing:

  • What happened between Sam & Paul is something very specific to their situation and unique to their partnership. What worked for them may not necessarily work for another couple.

  • What is valid for them now may eventually change further. Depending on how they cope, the changes may either tear them apart or keep them together for more years to come. Still, that is in the future. What is important is that today they are happy with one another and the choice they made.

  • What struck me was the level of honesty that the two achieved with one another. That they were able to make honest admissions not only to their partner but to themselves first that they are capable of such actions and decisions is admirable. (One need not agree with their decisions to admire the level of honesty.)

  • I am saddened when some listeners point to Sam & Paul’s story as proof that “same-sex relationship can never be truly meaningful and monogamous.” Wasn’t it clear in all 6 parts that Sam and Paul still love one another? Wasn’t it clear that for Sam & Paul their relationship is still meaningful to them? Is monogamy the only kind of relationship that is meaningful? What gives meaning to their relationship may not necessarily be what would give meaning to another couple; still, live and let live. Variety is the spice of life.


Anonymous said...

Very thoughtful... hmmm, has something happened that made you tap on your inner romantic? :D Congrats hehe.

Anonymous said...

people are too quick to judge their relationship. meaningful doesn't necessarily mean monogamous.

~Carrie~ said...

I agree with you, Joel, in all those points.

Heck, in the bathhouse, I met three guys on separate occasions who came with their partners to have fun in that place. I learned they've been together for more or less than a decade. That's their way of spicing up they're relationship. Both parties were open to that kind of activity.

How things are worked out depends on the couple, because every situation is unique to them.

Darc Diarist said...

i couldn't agree more on the honesty observation. very insightful! :)

Désolé Boy said...

i still find it hard to comprehend...
i mean, not that i'm judging them or anything, but their arrangement in terms of having sex with other people sounds scary to me.

this may be a social suicide on my part, but i still believe that if you genuinely love a person, there's no way you'll need to look for other person(s) to pleasure you when the love of your life is absent as of the moment. or you need some growing up point to prove things to yourself and your relationship.

but who am i to tell which is right and which is wrong?

one thing though, their story reaffirmed my belief that there are things beyond our way of understanding, and that is why the word RESPECT is created.