Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Our Fadir

(This episode was spurred by a recent chat with a friend. Our chat, ironically, didn’t touch on this subject at all. Go figure.)

* * * * *

Sometimes I wonder why I don’t seem to have much of a problem with my faith vis-a-vis my being gay. Maybe because I embraced what the Jesuit priests (yeah, ironic isn’t it?) have hammered into our heads in college, that we need to think freely and choose for ourselves.

You see, growing up we had no choice as to our religion and our beliefs—our parents and our teachers told us what was right or wrong. And we accepted them as is. But as early as high school I remember some of our teachers already telling us that we should form our own beliefs. And thanks to the combination of theology and philosophy subjects in college, I had the courage to face my long-held beliefs headlong, assess them, and decide which ones I’d embrace fully and which ones I’d discard.

Luckily by college I also had been struggling with my attraction to my own gender for several years now, and I had the privilege of going to a retreat and asking the retreat master about it. This young Jesuit priest told me, “Of course, you know the stand of the Church on homosexuality—love the sinner, condemn the sin.” Then he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear, “Personally I think God is so loving, He will accept you for who you are, and won’t condemn you. Or the life you lead. It’s just people, including those in our Church, who condemn those who they think are different.”

And ever since then, I embraced the idea that gay people are as much God’s creation as straight ones—and every one in between. People and institutions are the ones who have branded us sinners and unworthy. Well, I’d rather believe in a loving, embracing God rather than a narrow-minded one.

I knew my beliefs were going to differ from my parents, especially my mom (she with the yearly subscription to the Catholic Digest). That’s why I’ve always held off officially coming out to her. But it was she who encouraged her children to think properly and to use reason. We need not agree on everything, but we can still love each other.

Somewhere up there is a God who’s now giving me three snaps and a twirl and saying, “You go, gurl!”

8 comments:

karla said...

the jesuits are pretty liberal but their numbers are dwindling...here's a long but well thought out piece by andrew sullivan on the subject... http://www.tnr.com/politics/story.html?id=9bbd5ede-10a0-4b81-99a1-ecf0315fc0d2

John Halcyon von Rothschild said...

i have never doubted my relationship with God. only with the Church. while i still call myself a catholic, i am an American Catholic. that means we only go to church on Easter and Christmas. God Bless America! :P

i'm a narnian said...

i love this post! hahahaha and the image that somewhere in heaven someone says: "you go gurl!" is just hilarious.

john stanley said...

yah go, gurl!

=)

Ming Meows said...

that's what i like about jesuits.

Theo Martin said...

yeah, jesuits are the most understanding of them all i swear. :)

efrenefren said...

and decide which ones I’d embrace fully and which ones I’d discard.

- that's cafeteria christianity

Then he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear, “Personally I think God is so loving, He will accept you for who you are, and won’t condemn you. Or the life you lead. It’s just people, including those in our Church, who condemn those who they think are different.”

- i've had problems with being gay and being christian. thanks for the post made me feel a lot better. :)

joelmcvie said...

@EFRENEFREN: Actually, I'm for cafeteria religion. =)

Yes, I admit that I prefer not to take in everything in the Catholic religion hook, line and sinker. What's more, I also find a lot of Eastern religions and philosophies more to my liking.

I personally feel that, as far as I know for now, there is no one religion that I fully agree with ALL of its teachings. (And I'm not about to start my own, hahaha!) So I'd rather be more spiritual than religious.