Bring On The Fail!

I read Budjette’s The Babbling Point Multiply entry entitled, “Failure: The Secret of Success” (click here to read the whole thing).

The entry narrates how in high school, one of the regular classes always ended up second place to the honors class in a yearly theater contest. By their fourth and final year, they thought they would finally win over the A-students. Instead, they tied for first place.

Afterwards Mr. Pagsi, the teacher who moderated the contest (and who was the class advisor of section A during their first year), approached the director/writer of the perennial second-placer. Mr. Pagsi congratulated the director and said, “My A-boys are good, yes? My A-boys do not know defeat. They are champions.”

Then he put his hands on the director and said, “You and your boys know defeat and you know it well. You are more.”

* * * * *

That entry brought back so many memories for me.

I was placed in the honors section starting grade 5. In high school I was in the A-section for four years and was even a student of Mr. Pagsi during first year (I even joined his theater group). In college I was placed in the English honors class. In all those years, with all those different teachers, they all said basically the same thing to us: To whom much is given, much is expected.

Like all those who’ve gone through a rebellious stage, I once considered mediocrity as a life philosophy and stance, just to get away from all this “excellence and high standards” hammered into our heads. But eventually I settled on what I think is a healthy attitude towards failure, especially in my profession. Usually agency people don’t want to look silly or stupid in front of others, especially during brainstorming. Lord knows how my boss appreciates my fearlessness when it comes to throwing my ideas on the table, no matter how silly or stupid some of them may sound. What can I say? I’m shameless, hahaha!

Still the yearly hammering had taken its toll. Though nowadays I can actually shrug my shoulders and be philosophical about mistakes and failure, I still have some personal sore spots. And they can really be irrational at times. I would “compete” with stupid, reckless drivers on the street to be the first at a particular stoplight. In the gym, I hate the idea of doing repetitions “to failure” (you do enough repetitions such that your muscles are so tired you almost “fail” to complete the number of reps on the last set). When I fixate on a particular CD or DVD that I want to get, I don’t care if I have to jump from mall to mall just to find it.

If the secret of success is failure, I wonder if the secret to appreciation is rejection.

I’m 43 years old and single since birth. I know Rejection; we’re practically conjoined twins. I should be used to His nasty sense of humor, but still He manages once in a while to pull a fast one; sometimes He’d even pull the rug—nay, the floor—from under me. I’ve learned that it’s not the falling for someone that’s important; it’s how I pick myself up after I had my face shoved into the dirt.

I am not a champion. I am more.

I am more single.

Yeah! ☺