Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Monday, March 09, 2009

Miss U Meets Text Jokes

I rarely find forwarded text jokes funny, but the following I received had us laughing in stitches here in the office. (Tip: you have to read the following out loud and with matching feeling!)

* * * * *

Miss Universe intros:

• Malay mo, malay ko, malay niya, malay nating lahat… MALAYSIA!
• Gutom ako, gutom kayo, gutom tayong lahat… HUNGARY!
• Olah, viola, kaserola, tinola, saranggola, arinola ni Lola… VENEZUELA!
• Boom, ka-boom, ka-blam… AFGHANISTAN!
• Baha doon, baha dito, baha sa buong mundo… BAHAMAS!
• Hindi sa akin, hindi sa ‘yo, kanino s’ya? KENYA!
• One way, two way, there’s no other way… NORWAY!
• Sing ka na, sing ka pa, ilabas ang Magic Sing… SINGAPORE!
• Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh…! CHILE!

Ang saya-saya, ‘noh?!

10 comments:

E said...

"Boom, ka-boom, ka-blam… AFGHANISTAN!

Hindi sa akin, hindi sa ‘yo, kanino s’ya? KENYA!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh…! CHILE!"

---taena! laugh trip!!!

i'm a narnian said...

oh yes, this is good stuff. :D

ash said...

bwahahaha
nice one!
i badly need this today
thanks for putting a big smile on my face :)

r-yo said...

some of these are already in Chocolate's Miss U skit. dagdag nya dapat ang iba.

Chuck Suarez said...

panalo ang Kenya!

Rainbow Bloggers Philippines said...

Mula sa Lupaing Kulang sa Bigas
Presyo ng gasolina Tumataas
PILIPINAS!

Baha dun, Baha dito
Baha sa Buong Mundo
BAHAMAS!

Gutom ako, Gutom Kayo
Gutom tayong lahat...
HUNGARY!

MkSurf8 said...

boto ko para kay KENYA!

Ming Meows said...

I sit...I stand...I walk...IRAN!

Theo Martin said...

lovet. :)

ALEN GUERRERO said...

hehe. here's the full version i think -

Beauties of Asia and the Pacific:

Boom! Kabum! Kablam!...AFGHANISTAN!

Harutan, Laplapan, Ariputan…JAPAN!

Mula sa lupa na kulang ang bigas, sandamakmak na mandurugas…PILIPINAS!

King Kong, Kangkong, Korikong…HONG KONG!

(Acting as Mongoloid) Eeehhh aaahhhh…MONGOLIA!

Saan ang gimik? Sa Megamall or sa Glorietta?...SAMOA!

Red Tea, Green Tea, Iced Tea…TAHITI!

Ako ay bonggang-bongga, Walang kasing bongga, from…TONGA!

Amnesia, Anesthesia...INDONESIA!

One little, Two little, Three little…INDIA!

Singaone, Singatwo, Singathree...SINGAPORE

Taifour, Taithree, Taitwo...TAIWAN!

Tama ako, tama ka, tama tayong lahat...MALAYSIA!

Aray ko po, aray ko po, wag nyo po akong saktan...KAZAKHSTAN!

Parang Spam, Brick Ham, at Chinese Ham…ako ay malinamnam...VIETNAM!

Hindi na In, Hindi na Sikat, eh ano sya?... LAOS!

Move over Lutong Bahay…Here comes Lutong…MACAU!

Beauties of Europe:

EDSA, Ayala, Buendia…ESPAÑA!

Alms…spare me a piece of bread…I am...HUNGARY!

Mula sa bansa na unang nagpauso ng po, opo, at mano po…POLAND

One way, two way, there’s no other way...NORWAY!

Seduce me…I’m not Amy Perez, I’m Amy…AUSTRIA!

Palagi na lang ako…ako…ako...MONACO!

Taliba, Tiktik, People’s Tonight…BULGARIA!

Beauties of the Americas:

Baha doon, baha dito, baha sa buong mundo...BAHAMAS!

Ola! Areola! Arinola! Kaserola!...VENEZUELA!

Mula sa Bayan ng mapupulang Gumamela…GUATEMALA!

Tang ina mo wag kang pasaway...PARAGUAY!

Anna Karenina, Flor De Luna…ARGENTINA!

Ako po ang nawawalang kapatid ni Majah Salvador at Phillip Salvador…EL SALVADOR!

I'm sorry Sir, I'm sorry Ma'am...SURINAME!

Beauties of Africa:

Hindi sa akin, hindi sa yo, kanino sya?...KENYA!

Alin…alin…alin ang naiba. Isipin kung alin ang…naiba…NAMIBIA!

(Ala Nora Aunor) Isang beses ko lang sasabihin ito…hindi ako si Bembol Roco…MOROCCO!

From the land where nobody is less than nor greater than…SUDAN!

Ako po ay maganda, saksakan ng ganda, putang ina ang ganda from...UGANDA!