Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Bi The Way…

While researching for the previous episode, I stumbled upon an invitation for an event posted in G4M. The invite was for a “strictly all-bi” event. Which begs the question: Given their so-called “strict” policy, how can they ensure that all attendees are really bisexual when there are no girls attending that event?

I wonder how they’ll exercise quality control? “Excuse me sir, are you an attendee? Then may we ask you to step this way? See this lady, sir? Okay now, can you kindly go down on her? Yes sir, just shove your face into this lady’s pussy—and perform cunilingus for five minutes. Just five minutes, sir, no more no less; that’s all we’re asking. Yes sir, just shove that tongue of yours up her vagina. Go ahead, sir, we haven’t got all day—and she cannot keep her legs up in the air too long. That’s it, go on, wh—Oh! Wow, you did it sir! You truly are, um, bilingual!” Are there other ways of checking? Are they going to swap pussy stories to prove their bisexuality? Or are they just going to take the attendee’s word for it?

Or, good lord, is this another case of mistakenly using the terms “bisexual” and “straight-acting” interchangeably? Ugh. Heaven help these hapless homos. Childreeeeeeeeeen! Please pay attention to your English teacher, children!

12 comments:

Phillip said...

hahahaha

Tanungin mo nga kung may kasamang cute girls din. Baka biglang lumipad ang mga curlers ever.

Anonymous said...

Didn't you get the memo? Under disco lights bisexuals do not glow, unlike gays who do.

- MNR

joelmcvie said...

MADAME PRESIDENT MNR: Oh that memo! I thought it was merely some admin concerns. You know, something about electricals of the building or whatever.

ONAI said...

can't help it but think that Government is stupid...

joelmcvie said...

ONAI: Oops, tabi-tabi po! I'm not making a dig on Govt peeps, I just wanted to borrow the "childreeeen!" call para feeling titser ako, yun lang.

amateur misanthrope said...

I looooooooooove this post.

(Which isn't to say I don't think there really are bisexuals. I've actually met one or two.)

joelmcvie said...

AMATEUR MISANTHROPE: Oh yes, I too believe that there really are bisexuals. I'm just wondering how the organizers can make sure that the event be a "strictly all-bi" one. What will their screening process be kaya? :-)

Nelson said...

he he he I've been with true bisexuals before (as opposed to guys who label themselves bisexuals pero mahilig magbottom).

I don't think the real bisexuals would even bother attend this gay soiree.

Anonymous said...

gusto ko tumambling sa statements ng mga bi na yan.

-XP-

Jedd said...

Hay naku. This is so yesterday. It happens all the time. It's a phase for a lot of gay men, finding it uncomfortable to call themselves "gay" outright. In time, they'll get over it. And I'm sure you guys know that's what it's really about. Meanwhile, here we are picking on them. Each to his own pace, diba?
Lighten up, where's the love??? :)

Mark said...

Oh that's one of the things that piss me off with chatters, saying they're bi and all but when I asked if they've had, they''re having sex, or will have sex with girls, they say no. Then where's the "bi" there, mister? Ugh!

Anonymous said...

Hay naku, all I can say is...

Bi Now, Gay Later!