Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Dear Joel

Tukayo, I hope you take this with a grain of salt and a bottle of muriatic acid. Seriously, I’m not serious. But you should realize by now that when I tease someone (read: you) incessantly, it’s because I feel quite comfortable with you, that there’s already a certain level of trust established. Well, that and the fact that you’re such an easy target for teasing. Ha. Ha. Ha.

You’re such a giggly girl, tukayo. And the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf barista, while tall, dark and humanoid, isn’t exactly drop-dead gorgeous. But then in taste there’s no dispute. In your case what’s in dispute is your no taste. Hahaha. O, joke lang yun ha. Dagdagan pa natin ng smiley face. :-) Ayan, obvious na ba?

Actually the barista has an intriguing appeal. There’s something naughty and mysterious in his face. Like he’s a Cho-in-the-making. I’m kidding. But you shouldn’t really torture yourself too much. He’s not really a gay-magnet. Then again, maybe that’s why you’re so fixated on him—you’ve got no competition against his attention. What a brilliant tactic of yours.

You’re torturing yourself on mere possibilities, conjectures and second-guesses. That’s not very scientific or logical. You say he’s been glancing at you the whole night? If you stay for four-plus hours in CBTL with just one order, I think the glances simply mean, “Hoy mga bakla, mag-order naman kayo uli!” or “Leche, gaano katagal pa ba ang mga ito? Ni hindi man lang umorder muli; lugi kami ha!” You say he always passes in front of your table whenever he’d buss the other tables around you? Giggly girl, that’s the most convenient way, the shortest distance between the counter and the other tables.

And the most damning evidence? You already gave him his number and a note saying, “Can we go out on a date?” and he didn’t even call or text you. Granted, he could have lost your number. So just give him your number again. But what did you do last night? You froze up. Why?! You were able to do it the last time, right?

So. Stop playing those melancholy Sarah McLachlan songs, put on some bitchin’ Government music, and dance. Last night was just enough time for you to feel bad about it. Time to move on na.

Move on. Didn’t you notice that the barista in Starbucks opposite CBTL is actually cuter?


Joel said...

He's definitely not DARK, not even a Cho-in-the-making! Hallerh! Inggit ka lang kasi aminado ka pa ring gwapo siya. Beeeeh! :)

But like I've said when we chatted today, I already got myself over him.

Jedd said...

That is just so cute and adorable :) Kinda like a gay adult version of the 'Dear Carlo' hotdog commercial of the early 90's

Flash Lightbringer said...

Move on. Didn’t you notice that the barista in Starbucks opposite CBTL is actually cuter?

But then again, is your tactic applicable on him? =)

leche namang word verification yan. dikit dikit di ako makapagcomment. haha...

joelmcvie said...

TUKAYO: Love is blind, but insta-crush is color-blind pala! He's dark; not very, as in not the swarthy kind of dark, but he's definitely not mestizo. At hindi ako inggit, dahil I can go up to him without me being reduced to a jiggling mass of jelly. Giggly gurl. ;-)

JEDD: Naku, these are what tender, juicy memories are made of, hahaha.

FLASHLIGHTBRINGER: Naku, pagpasensiyahan mo na minsan ang mga dikit-dikit na letters. Someone in must have jacked off and accidentally splashed on the comments moderation option. Ewww. Hindi naman na-e-erase ang comment mo if you didn't get the letters right; just try again.

gibbs cadiz said...

galing, mag-penpal na pala kayo ni joel tukayo dito, haha. :)


john said...

i read this article that helped me understand why we gays act like this.

The very gay way of "Survival of the Selfish."