Watch Me Entertain Myself!

Sacha Guitry once said, "You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty." Oh yes, I'm the great pretender.
(pilot episode: 20 January 2004)

Friday, April 20, 2007

“Hukay-Ukay”

A horror movie proposal. The pitch:

Old abandoned clothes of people who died violent deaths are placed in a used-clothing shop. Because of their loud, tacky style these clothes remain mostly on shelf, unbought and unappreciated. Every year their prices are marked down. Finally only the really poor or the really tasteless shoppers buy these clothes, not knowing that a curse is attached to them.

At first the new owners have nightmares of strangers visiting them in their dreams, saying, “That shirt is sooo not you!” or “Death to plaid pants!” Then the spirits of the dead owners take possession of them, and they’re forced to look for their matching outfit—for example, the wearer of the shirt is compelled to look for the matching pants. If two cursed wearers with matching outfits see one another, they fight like mindless zombies, shouting, “That blouse belongs to meeeee!” and “Give me back my skiiiiiiirt!” They end up killing each other in the process, and their clothes are then given away to the used-clothing shop; thus the curse of death and bad fashion remain unbroken.

Only a modista who’s gifted—or cursed—with the sixth sense figures out the reason for the series of unfortunate deaths. She and her fashion-forward friends decide to put an end to the chain of fashion victims. The solution involves a lot of ripping clothes off and nudity, to ensure a PG-13 rating. And in the end the used-clothes shop will be burned to the ground for a spectacular grand finale.

5 comments:

Chus said...

i have ukay-ukay fashion stories din, syempre baguio ang setting para malamig kung ishu-shoot.

Raymond said...

Brilliant, frigging brilliant! Let's hope you find someone to greenlight it.

Nelson said...

Quirky short film he he he


Hoy I bought plaid pants last year in one of our glorified ukay-ukay, and it looks 60s fab! Nasa nagsusuot yun hahahhahah!

joelmcvie said...

NELZ: In the story the plaid pants really looked awful because the wearer is short and the pants make him look shorter. Sooo... okey na ba? Hahaha! :-)

amateur misanthrope said...

Ipa-copyright mo na, bilis!